The outcome of the Meeting with the Ronald McDonald house.

Here is the mom's post on what happened in the meeting with the execs at the RMH. My comments follow the post.

Ok here is the outcome of the meeting. We got out about and hour ago and I have been trying to find time to post here after returning some phone calls. The meeting was about 2 hours long and included myself and my sister, a representative from the LLL, and a doctor from the area who is responsible for some big research on breastfeeding. I will not mention their names as I have not asked them for permission to do that but we thank them both for their support! We could not have handled the meeting without them. I contacted the suggested LLL person in Texas(again no names) and she sent them right out. She was great as well and worked tirelessly for us today.From the RMH Arlene, the Director of Operations, as well as Naomi, the Executive Director, attended as well as a couple of their board members.

After a very lengthy conversion with many twists and turns the RMH is allowing us to stay. We are from now on allowed to breastfeeding in the communal areas if we follow some rules they have set forth and not too many people complain about it. They said if just one person complains they will tell them they support breastfeeding and discuss with them why they are concerned. If many people were to complain they will have to deal with that as it comes up, they could not say how as they have not encountered the situation.

The rules we are to follow are that we are to be discreet, this is at our discretion, meaning we choose what discreet means but they said they will obviously know if we are not being discreet if people are complaining that they are uncomfortable with us nursing. We are also being asked to inform the people around us before we begin nursing if we think there is anybody that may be uncomfortable with it. We are to tell them nicely that we are going to breastfeed, in case they want to leave or look away.There was alot of discussion about what discreet meant, but after some pretty silly possibilities for discretion they decided it would be up to us as to what that meant. They said they would not bother us about nursing again unless many people complained, which nobody felt was likely to happen.

The RMH wanted us to tell everybody that the RMH supports breastfeeding moms...they were VERY adamant about it. You can decide for yourself if that is true, I am only passing on what they said to us.

Now, at this point, this only applies to us. When asked how other nursing moms would be treated they said they cannot make any changes right in the room but
that they will be examining the practice, or oral guidelines, of asking breastfeeding moms to stop. They said they did not have the power to make policy change, it had to go to the board; which they said they would seriously discuss doing. Obviously alot more was said in 2 hours but this is the gist of the situation. If they really do examine their guideline this could be a really good thing but we will have to follow up to make sure that happened. Please if you decide to write anymore letters(and they received ALOT of letters) please do so to encourage them to reexamine thier guidelines and to thank them for considering it.

Although they were not apologetic to us they have agreed to reexamine their stance and this could be really good for alot of nursing moms. If we handle this correctly this could mean national change for the RMH.We will be waiting to find out how this plays out in the following days and will will update as needed. Lots of media have contacted us from all kinds of large outlets and I am still not sure who, if anyone, I will talk to at this point. We are trying to decide how to best help ALL moms.We want this to benefit moms across the board so me and Jessica will be working to change their guidelines as we go. And the LLL says they will continue to offer us support. We are not giving up on a full scale policy protecting moms, but we will have to wait for a board decision on that. This will take time but I am confident that we can make this happen.

THANK YOU ALL FOR OUR SUPPORT!!!!! Above all if you all had not done what you have done I suspect we would not have had the outcome we did or even had that meeting. Your advice and input is welcome here as to how we should proceed and we will be checking in. Thank you.

Thank you for posting this update. I'm glad Tobin is out of the hospital, and I hope he keeps getting better.

From my point of view... You are doing your best to make the best of this impossible situation that they have put you in. OP, I'm not ranting at you at all. I support you, I'm mad that they made you agree to this to be able to stay there.

I'm pissed as hell at THEM. HOW DARE THEY TELL YOU WHEN AND HOW YOU CAN NURSE! I'm 100% positive that I have offended people by NIP and I don't give a rats ass. I nurse my baby when, how and where I and Sydney desire. NO ONE ELSE FACTORS IN.

I find this to be a condescending and patronizing solution. Please be discreet and don't offend little day and we will "allow" you to nurse in the common room. If someone is offended, you must hide, not them. They are still not following the law. Why must YOU ask if it is ok to feed your baby? Are they making EVERYONE ask if it is ok to eat? Because I am personally very offended by bad table manners, and they should have to go hide, not a baby eating.

I will be calling again tomorrow. They need to know that they cannot get away with this crap any more. With the internet it is incredibly easy to organize and enhance activism. I'm highly offended by this solution. I feel for you being in this situation.

Oh, and as for me, that RMH is VERY breast feeding unfriendly and unsupportive. They say they are supportive of breastfeeding like Imus says he is not a racist.

Later on someone posted this.... my response is attached...

Originally Posted by R
Ah, but they [meaning objecting IL's] KNOW you breastfeed, the other guests at RMH don't (at least at first). But in that case you stand up and remove yourself to a place BEHIND them (not in their line of sight), so they have to actively TURN AROUND to SEE you discretely breastfeeding your babe--better yet, if at all possible, turn your back to them so they can not see you feeding your baby. You have by your act taken their modesty into concern and that is where your obligation ends. R

And NEITHER do the people sitting next to me on an airplane... Should I poll the plane of I can nurse or will that offend someone? How about at church, the mall, anywhere in public.

I WILL NOT MOVE UNLESS I WANT TO. I'm not responsible for them, I'm responsible for my baby and me. They can turn their head. How am I supposed to move on an airplane or a bus?

I guarantee that the gay guys in front of me were a bit wowed when they saw me nursing in the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, but they said nothing and turned toward the front of the line. I accidentally flashed one of them because DD popped off to protest nursing not laying down. Should I have gotten out of the line? NO.

I also know the lady next to me and DD on the plane was less than thrilled, but that is not my concern. My concern is that DD is being taken care of and loved.

Nursing is not something to hide. I should not have to do gymnastics to nurse. I cannot live my life for fear of offending someone. That is not living.

BTW, and not that this matters, but I'm a discreet nurser, but sometimes DD pops off. I quickly get her back on or cover, but that is because that is what I want to do.

I have a great point I keep forgetting to post, but forgot what it is... sheesh.