Basically, life for me stopped being normal in January, with the high alpha-fetal protein test result. Since that time, I've been caught up in the world of high risk pregnancy and neonatal medicine. Life has slowed down, and is at a more normal pace. Even Vince being gone is normal, as it is an expected part of military life. I'm back at work.
Thing is, normal feels weird. Normal became trips to the doctors, ultrasounds, hospital visits, worried phone calls. Normal is not normal any more.
After all that emotional stress and dismay, to be sitting at my desk is a victory. That my daughter is whole, healthy, alive, and happy is a blessing.
After all the stress and turmoil, it is hard to relax and enjoy life. I keep feeling like something should be happening, that I need a test or something like that, or that the other shoe will drop. I feel like I should be at the doctor's office or hospital. I need to change Sydney's appointment tomorrow, and I'm worrying that because I move it to next week, something will happen.
I dreamed of life being normal, and now that it is, the echos of the stress since January haunts me.
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2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. Eventually, you will have a normal feeling normal, and life will go on. How's Vince? Or is he still not allowed calling since I talked to you? Kiss that sweet girl for me.
Yeah, I have not heard from him yet. No letter. Today, by my count is day 8 of training, and he said he got phone privlges between day 8 and 14. So not holding my breath that I get a phone call today. I am hopeful.
I don't know how he is doing and I am worried about him
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