Taken

Note: Others have chosen to not talk about this directly. I am choosing to post this in all it's awfulness, not to give the scammer any more attention, but to alert others.

You know, I've never really understood scaming someone for emotional attention.

My brother the Pious and his wife who I like much more than my brother are waiting to adopt got emotionally scammed. They have a profile online and a lady contacted them, saying that she chose them to adopt her twins. They never met in person as the lady lived in New York, and the lady refused to go into the local office of the agency that Bro and SIL are using. She never asked them for money, and they never sent any, but she strung them along promising them that they could adopt her twins. She kept having crisis after crisis. People kept dying on her. My SIL spent hours on the phone and online with her, talking her through these crisis.

Then she was supposed to have the babies on Tuesday, then Thursday, then Saturday... She said she was over due with twins, and the OB was just waiting. I don't buy that and neither did my SIL. My SIL asked for proof that she actually was pregnant, and the lady disappeared.

SIL handled this quite well. Bro got nasty. They were both very hurt.

I felt for them, but thought that since I was not waiting to adopt, I was immune from this type of scamming.

I was wrong.

I hang out online at Mothering.com discussion boards. There was a posted who went by the handle Acamile14. She claimed that her name was Amber Camilleri, and that she was the mother of Sierra Louise Camilleri, a baby born at 26 weeks gestation. She also claimed that she was the wife of a officer in the army, named Ian.

She also had a livejournal page, but that has been taken down.

Again it was similar things. Lots of drama. Lots of very crisis. Sierra "went" through such medical trauma and procedures. If you questioned her at all on the main thread where she hung out, she flipped out, and threatened to leave. So we would all rush to apologize to her as no one wanted to hurt a NICU mom's feelings, not when her baby had to have dialysis. One time while chatting with her, I attempted to gently broach hospice care and to talk to her about her thoughts on that. She abruptly cut me off, and "yelled" at me asking why I wanted to kill Sierra. I was simply trying to see what options they had talked about, and to give her a safe place if she wanted to talk about ending treatment. The way she described her daughter's condition, Sierra was near death every day. "Amber" even concocted another user name "Luceegoose" to have a premature baby in the same hospital as her baby was in, so there was someone who had seen her and Sierra in the hospital.

Boy this lady was good. She had all sorts of stories. The baby was coding. She ended up spending the weekend in the hospital for dehydration. She goes home for the first time in months and the house is a disaster. She is so upset because she cannot see the baby. She was staying at the Ronald McDonald house. She was pumping. She had a neo she called Dr. Doom, whom she fired. She had a respiratory therapist that she hated and fired.

She lied, all lies.

I had this posted to my blog last Tuesday, it was the first clue something was wrong. I should have known something was fishy, but I fell for the whole story hook, line and sinker....

The person claiming to be the mom of a preemie named Sierra Louise is a fraud. She (or he) has been stealing photos of my daughter (born at 25 weeks gestation in Aug. 0f 2005) and posting them all over the Internet, claiming they are of her daughter. I'm working on taking action against this person, but in the meantime, you can visit my website (which has been up and running since the summer of 2005). I think you'll recognize the child in the photos: www.kristinaseleshanko.com/baby.htm

I don't know why sick people do stuff like this; it makes me cry and shake with anger that someone would take photos of my dear girl when she was in such a vulnerable and sick state and use them for their own weird desires.

Kristina Seleshanko

I clicked on the link. I remembered seeing this page when I was looking for information on preemies before I had Sydney. I felt like the world had stopped spinning. When I saw the identical photos, I was shocked and ill.

The rumour is that they were going to let "Sierra" go later that week. She had also told us that her DH was being deployed to Iraq, and had just gotten orders. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Screenshot from the now defunct Livejournal site... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/cerulean_me/sierrascreencap.jpg
Link to original picture http://www.kristinaseleshanko.com/9-18-05Photos.htm

It turns out that "Amber" was also on the c2pp.com board, scamming there. She has been banned from C2PP and mothering.com.

I later got this information on a message...

This is from another user who asked that I pass it along:The email of the woman
who's identity she stole is camillerip@apsu.edu. Phyils A Camilleri who is a professor at Austin Pea State univeristy. The IP address she has been posting from is an APSU IP address. Phyils is not Amber. However, she does have a suspicion of the student she thinks did it. Please email camillerip@apsu.edu and tell her what happened along with any links and pictures you may have.

These will be forwarded to the campus police. Also tell her if you sent "Amber" any gifts or money and what address you sent them to. Send this out to everyone.

See this is more than someone stealing pictures, and identity, and stories. I realized as I typed the part where she was so upset that she could not see Sierra, she could have very well stolen that from my blog. Amber asked for and got donations. She hinted she needed gas money, and it was sent. People shipped her goodies, gifts, gift cards, blankets. I was about to take up a collection to hire a maid to get her house deep cleaned.

The only thing toping this scam is the woman who claimed her DH was KIA on a military wives BB. That was bad.

She went and stole pictures of our babies when they were at their weakest. She stole our stories when we were most vulnerable. I'm so very angry and disgusted. It is despicable what she did.

She knew how to hit sympathy buttons. Military family, critically ill baby, overwhelmed mother. Bingo, donations out the wazoo.

Thankfully I am not out any money. I am out time and emotions. I prayed for this family. I put their name on the temple rolls for crying out loud. I spent hours chatting with her, talking her through a crisis. I neglected DH, DD, and my job so she could get her jollies. I'll never get that time back. I'll never get that energy back. I'll never be so trusting again.

Another concern I have is that people will start to suspect me for being a fraud. I'm not. I really had a preemie daughter. I really have a military husband. These are my true stories. These are MY stories, and not up for grabs by any psycho who wants to be disgusting.

Rock and a hard place.

Ok, some of you know me IRL. I work with some of you, and you are in our circle of friends.... I really don't want you to think that DH is a failure. Please don't judge him. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but please know he has worked very hard at being a success.

DH is likely not going to commission as an officer. It sounds as if his ROTC commander will not recommend him for commissioning. Basically it seems as if the past 2 years of ROTC hell are for nothing.

Why, you may ask? Sure there are things DH could have done to perhaps prevent this. Yes, he is not faultless in this. I'm not going to list his faults. However, who reading this is perfect?

DH did very well with the previous cadre. Then the cadre changed and the atmosphere changed. DH has struggled mightily to create a good impression with the cadre, and he failed. They have a very negative attitude toward him. He hears only negative, even when he is working so hard.

DH is trying to do well in his classes. He has been working very hard this semester, but the cadre are not seeing it.

So that is where we are. The catch is that we received a $500 a month stipend for the last year or so. It appears that the Army will want him to repay that amount by going on active duty for 2 years. They could require us to repay that $7000 ish, but from what I looked at online, it seems he will have to go active duty as an enlisted for 2 years.

Gasp. I am in shock. I did not know this fact.

I don't know what to do. I wish I knew what was going to happen. I don't relish the thought of repaying the $7000 but would much rather do that than uproot.

There is NO way we can make it on what DH's wages would be. NONE. I will still HAVE to work. I have a great job here with benefits, pension, stability. This place does not hire that often. If I leave, there is no guarantee they will have an opening when we come back. I have no guarantee of being able to get a decent job wherever we end up. I'm so worried. I don't want to move and job search. The whole reason we did this was for him to get an active OFFICER commission and me be able to stay home. That is not happening. Now it looks like we will have to move to wherever, and not have enough income, me have to work at whatever I can find. Then we come home, and hope to restart our lives, only I will have lost my job and career service standing?

I'm sickened by this turn of events. The thought of having no control and stuff this big being up in the air is killing me.

DH is so depressed. He is really beating him self up about this. There is such shame and guilt associated with this happening. I don't know how to help him. I don't know what to say. Everyone we know has been planning on him commissioning, and now it looks like he is not. How do we tell everyone?

I already know my mom will think I should stay here. She will think poorly of me if I follow him. I am worried she will give me a copy of 10 Stupid things women do to mess up their lives. She will say she followed a man and it was bad. She will say I am repeating her mistakes.

Am I?

I love DH very much, and I know that he loves me. He and I have been together through hell. We have been together for 8+years now. He was by my side both times I was fired from a post college job (one deserved, one not so deserved.) I owe him that, don't I? I don't want to be the fool, but I don't want to voluntarily live apart from DH for 2 years. That would be choosing my job over him. I don't want him to miss out on Sydney, and I don't want her to not have her father.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll tell you, every time I tried to type years, I typed tears.

I'll kiss it.

This morning, I was snuggled safe in my bed. My baby was sleeping next to me. I turned to my side and turned on the Today show, as is my usual morning routine. As Sydney is well known to do, she rolled over to have her back touching mine. If there is a person or cat in the bed, she moves in her sleep to cuddle. This can make the bed a bit cramped at times, but it is cute.

I laid there, warm and snuggled next to my baby, watching the horror from Virginia Tech. I don't understand how God allows this. They were just going to French class, damn it. I worried for Vince, sitting in his math class. I worry for Sydney sitting in her first grade class someday. I worry for my sister in high school. I worry for my sister singing in the choir. I worry for my brother teaching junior high students Utah history.

I'm angry that, once again, we see images of horror and death coming from our television screens. I'm very angry at the shooter. He chained them in. He left them, let them think they were safe, and came back to shoot them some more.

No where is safe. I think of all the horrors which have come through my television set.... maybe I don't want TV anymore. Maybe I don't want the Internet anymore. Maybe I want to just live on a tiny island far far away.

While watching, this interview came on. I laid there snuggling my baby and watched a father show his pain. Stone Phillips is interviewing Joe Samaha, whose daughter Reema was killed in her French class. I heard the profound grief of this father, and cried for him and his daughter.

These words will haunt me, they so eloquently illustrate the depth of his grief. I am so thankful that all I love are safe, and I ache for those who are grieving right now.

Phillips: What questions remain in your mind?
Joe Samaha: Why didn’t she skip class? Why was she there at that time? Why was the shooter doing? What he was doing? Why was he on a rampage?
Phillips: Is there anything more you want to say.
Joe Samaha: I just want to see our daughter. We’re having a tough time doing that. The medical examiner’s office doesn’t have the facilities to reunite the families with their deceased. They said they could provide us with photographs in a few hours.
Phillips: You need to see something, you need to see her face.
Joe Samaha: Absolutely. I need to see her face.
Phillips: And when you do see it?
Joe Samaha: I’ll kiss it.

Open letter to the staff and board of the Ronald McDonald House in Houston

To those at the Ronald McDonald House....

Welcome to the present. You can no longer bully someone and expect it to stay a secret. Welcome to the modern day where people from across the world can gather together and discuss issues with relative ease.

Welcome to the connected world. I'm sure you never imagined your email server would crash, or your voice mail boxes would be full. Wait until tomorrow's mail. I'm sure when you met with this family, you had no idea the can of worms you have opened.

You are avoiding a nurse in solely because we don't want to disrupt the other families staying at the RMH. Otherwise... Nurse in... I'm thinking nurse ins at all our local McDonald's. That will do both the RMH and The McDonald's corporate image good.

Why don't you Google RMH breast feeding? It's all bad. You can change the top posts to positive ones by your actions. Write a breast feeding is welcome her policy. Apologize to this family. Truly welcome diversity, including nursing moms. Stop giving phony lip service to nursing, and instead support nursing moms with open and whole arms.

I hope all the negative press and negative blog sites are worth it. I hope one day to be able to post the apology you owe this family.

You can stop this. Change your policies, educate your staff, apologize. Know this negative publicity will NOT stop until you change your tune.

I remembered my deep thought!

The outcome of the Meeting with the Ronald McDonald house.

Here is the mom's post on what happened in the meeting with the execs at the RMH. My comments follow the post.

Ok here is the outcome of the meeting. We got out about and hour ago and I have been trying to find time to post here after returning some phone calls. The meeting was about 2 hours long and included myself and my sister, a representative from the LLL, and a doctor from the area who is responsible for some big research on breastfeeding. I will not mention their names as I have not asked them for permission to do that but we thank them both for their support! We could not have handled the meeting without them. I contacted the suggested LLL person in Texas(again no names) and she sent them right out. She was great as well and worked tirelessly for us today.From the RMH Arlene, the Director of Operations, as well as Naomi, the Executive Director, attended as well as a couple of their board members.

After a very lengthy conversion with many twists and turns the RMH is allowing us to stay. We are from now on allowed to breastfeeding in the communal areas if we follow some rules they have set forth and not too many people complain about it. They said if just one person complains they will tell them they support breastfeeding and discuss with them why they are concerned. If many people were to complain they will have to deal with that as it comes up, they could not say how as they have not encountered the situation.

The rules we are to follow are that we are to be discreet, this is at our discretion, meaning we choose what discreet means but they said they will obviously know if we are not being discreet if people are complaining that they are uncomfortable with us nursing. We are also being asked to inform the people around us before we begin nursing if we think there is anybody that may be uncomfortable with it. We are to tell them nicely that we are going to breastfeed, in case they want to leave or look away.There was alot of discussion about what discreet meant, but after some pretty silly possibilities for discretion they decided it would be up to us as to what that meant. They said they would not bother us about nursing again unless many people complained, which nobody felt was likely to happen.

The RMH wanted us to tell everybody that the RMH supports breastfeeding moms...they were VERY adamant about it. You can decide for yourself if that is true, I am only passing on what they said to us.

Now, at this point, this only applies to us. When asked how other nursing moms would be treated they said they cannot make any changes right in the room but
that they will be examining the practice, or oral guidelines, of asking breastfeeding moms to stop. They said they did not have the power to make policy change, it had to go to the board; which they said they would seriously discuss doing. Obviously alot more was said in 2 hours but this is the gist of the situation. If they really do examine their guideline this could be a really good thing but we will have to follow up to make sure that happened. Please if you decide to write anymore letters(and they received ALOT of letters) please do so to encourage them to reexamine thier guidelines and to thank them for considering it.

Although they were not apologetic to us they have agreed to reexamine their stance and this could be really good for alot of nursing moms. If we handle this correctly this could mean national change for the RMH.We will be waiting to find out how this plays out in the following days and will will update as needed. Lots of media have contacted us from all kinds of large outlets and I am still not sure who, if anyone, I will talk to at this point. We are trying to decide how to best help ALL moms.We want this to benefit moms across the board so me and Jessica will be working to change their guidelines as we go. And the LLL says they will continue to offer us support. We are not giving up on a full scale policy protecting moms, but we will have to wait for a board decision on that. This will take time but I am confident that we can make this happen.

THANK YOU ALL FOR OUR SUPPORT!!!!! Above all if you all had not done what you have done I suspect we would not have had the outcome we did or even had that meeting. Your advice and input is welcome here as to how we should proceed and we will be checking in. Thank you.

Thank you for posting this update. I'm glad Tobin is out of the hospital, and I hope he keeps getting better.

From my point of view... You are doing your best to make the best of this impossible situation that they have put you in. OP, I'm not ranting at you at all. I support you, I'm mad that they made you agree to this to be able to stay there.

I'm pissed as hell at THEM. HOW DARE THEY TELL YOU WHEN AND HOW YOU CAN NURSE! I'm 100% positive that I have offended people by NIP and I don't give a rats ass. I nurse my baby when, how and where I and Sydney desire. NO ONE ELSE FACTORS IN.

I find this to be a condescending and patronizing solution. Please be discreet and don't offend little day and we will "allow" you to nurse in the common room. If someone is offended, you must hide, not them. They are still not following the law. Why must YOU ask if it is ok to feed your baby? Are they making EVERYONE ask if it is ok to eat? Because I am personally very offended by bad table manners, and they should have to go hide, not a baby eating.

I will be calling again tomorrow. They need to know that they cannot get away with this crap any more. With the internet it is incredibly easy to organize and enhance activism. I'm highly offended by this solution. I feel for you being in this situation.

Oh, and as for me, that RMH is VERY breast feeding unfriendly and unsupportive. They say they are supportive of breastfeeding like Imus says he is not a racist.

Later on someone posted this.... my response is attached...

Originally Posted by R
Ah, but they [meaning objecting IL's] KNOW you breastfeed, the other guests at RMH don't (at least at first). But in that case you stand up and remove yourself to a place BEHIND them (not in their line of sight), so they have to actively TURN AROUND to SEE you discretely breastfeeding your babe--better yet, if at all possible, turn your back to them so they can not see you feeding your baby. You have by your act taken their modesty into concern and that is where your obligation ends. R

And NEITHER do the people sitting next to me on an airplane... Should I poll the plane of I can nurse or will that offend someone? How about at church, the mall, anywhere in public.

I WILL NOT MOVE UNLESS I WANT TO. I'm not responsible for them, I'm responsible for my baby and me. They can turn their head. How am I supposed to move on an airplane or a bus?

I guarantee that the gay guys in front of me were a bit wowed when they saw me nursing in the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, but they said nothing and turned toward the front of the line. I accidentally flashed one of them because DD popped off to protest nursing not laying down. Should I have gotten out of the line? NO.

I also know the lady next to me and DD on the plane was less than thrilled, but that is not my concern. My concern is that DD is being taken care of and loved.

Nursing is not something to hide. I should not have to do gymnastics to nurse. I cannot live my life for fear of offending someone. That is not living.

BTW, and not that this matters, but I'm a discreet nurser, but sometimes DD pops off. I quickly get her back on or cover, but that is because that is what I want to do.

I have a great point I keep forgetting to post, but forgot what it is... sheesh.

Ronald McDonald House in Houston bans nursing in common area

I'm very angry. The Ronald McDonald House in Houston has threatened to kick a family out because they have the nerve to actually want to nurse their babies in the common area.

I actually called Naomi Scott today. I left her as professional and composed a voice mail as I could. In response to her concern over multicultural respect, I stated that people do not have a right to NOT be offended, but mothers do have the right to nurse in public. I also stated that most countries are much more accepting of nursing that the United States is. I also told her how offensive her comparing nursing to smoking is. Smoking causes cancer, breast feeding reduces the risk of this. I asked her to create a breast feeding positive environment rather than a hostile one. I also stated that if this is not resolved satisfactorily soon, I will be contacting major corporate donors to the RMH whom I do business with to complain, namely Farm Bureau insurance, Coca-Cola, McDonald's, and Stampin' UP (I forgot to say the stamp company, but oh well.)

For me, this is one more example of multiculturalism gone too far. In response to a supposed offense, they have severely offended others. Nursing is not something to hide or be ashamed of, much less to ask a mom to go up to her room 3 stories up from the common area. FYI, the common area is the ONLY place that eating is allowed. Bottle feeding is welcome here, breast feeding is not. How offensive is that! If someone is offended by a baby nursing, THEY don't have to look or THEY can leave. We are talking about a hungry upset baby here. Between adults and babies, babies win every time.

I'm very upset by this. This is discrimination, pure and simple. Someone thinks that the children are too old to nurse so they are going to harass this family because of the staff members' personal beliefs. World wide the age of weaning is about 4 years. AAP recommends breast feeding until at LEAST (not STOPING at) age one. The WHO recommends nursing until at least age two. Well I disagree.

Sydney turns 1 next month. I have no plans to stop nursing her any time soon. I plan on nursing her for much longer. I'm not sure if I will child lead wean, but I love nursing her. It is a great way for me to re-connect with her after a day being apart.

Frankly, I'm very disappointed at their reaction and their insistence to stick to their illegal, immoral, and unethical policy. I think they are being very stupid if they think this will go away and not hurt their donations. They do not get to ignore the law because they do a great thing most of the time.

I honestly think these people all need to leave. I'd like to see them all resign.

Here is her story.

My sister and I are staying in the Ronald McDonald House in Houston because one of her 17 month old twins had to have brain surgery to remove a tumor last week. The RMH has been great and we have felt so blessed to find such a safe and homey place to take care of her other two children and my daughter while we are here for Tobin's recovery. However yesterday my sister, who is nursing the twins, was asked to stop nursing in the communal area of the Ronald McDonald House and to take it up to her room. She was shocked! After his surgery her son will basically only drink breast milk and it is the only thing that eases the constant pain and anxiety he feels.

She told them that it was illegal, according the Texas state law, to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop nursing in any public or private place. She also tried to explain to them how inconvenient it would be for her to take all her children up 3 floors to their room every time her sick child needs to nurse. Unfortunately after 30 minutes of arguing, and being threatened with being kicked out, she was in tears and they weren't backing down. So I headed down there to talk to the administrator because I am also nursing my three year old daughter. I even pulled up the state law on my laptop and after a lengthy discussion the administrator acted as if she was going to examine the law so she understood it and move on. I thought that was the end of it. Today I find out they may be kicking us out of the RMH because we refused to comply with what they call their "interpretation of the law". Their interpretation is that if they provide somewhere else for us to nurse they don't have to let us nurse in public places.

Since when do laws get to be personally tailored to an organizations needs?This is a ridiculous and terrible situation for all of us, I am not sure what else we will do if we can't stay here but we can't just not nurse our children. The Ronald McDonald is such a great resource, why do they have to discriminate against nursing moms?If you would like to send a letter(s) we would appreciate it. Arlene Whatley is The Director of Operations of The Holcombe location of the RMH where we are staying and one of the people who Jessica spoke to about this. It is Arlene that seems to be making the decision here. Her email is awhatley@rmhhouston.org and her phone is (713) 795-3570.Also her higher ups, The Executive Director can be emailed at nscott@rmhhouston.org and the Director of Administration is srichard@rmhhouston.org. This message may also be shared and reposted as you see fit. Thank you all for your support.

**Update**..please read Update posts for a more info but as of Saturday Afternoon(4/14) we are still being asked not to nurse anywhere but our rooms and Arlene, who I spoke to today by phone, has informed me that she will be contacting the Executive Director and their attorneys on Monday about the situation before any other decisions will be made. I have been told by Arlene that she will do what she needs to do and that I am to "be very careful" about what I decide to do. We are being told that we are not being asked to leave right now and that they never meant that we should have to...despite the fact that Arlene told my sister in front of another RMH employee on speaker phone that families who could not acclimate to the environment at RMH should find somewhere else to stay. She admitted this to me on the phone today, that yes she did tell Jessica that...but that did not mean we actually had to leave. Also the day after she was asked to stop nursing(yesterday) Jessica's social worker was contacted by RMH and was apparently told that she may need to help us make other accommodations. The RMH actually contacted my sister's social worker who handles Tobin's case while he is in the hospital and got her involved...because Jessica was nursing and they are not ok with that? I guess nursing means not acclimating to their environment and she was just trying to intimidate Jessica into stopping the nursing of her sick son. I do want to say that aside from Arlene, and the original employee who asked my sister to stop nursing, we have been treated very well here and want to say that the RMH has great employees as well as the ones bullying us.

Here is the update... it gets worse... the Director compares NIP to smoking.

I am still updating the original thread but someone suggested I also post a new one so that it will be easier to find the new information. I just spoke to Naomi Scott, the Executive Director of the RMH Houston, and we(Me, Jessica, Arlene and Naomi) have a meeting this afternoon (tentatively) at 4pm. She came back from her vacation early to handle the situation. Naomi needs to speak to some people before the meeting she said.

Unlike Arlene, Naomi was very pleasant on the phone but she told me that although they are not kicking us out right now that it is a guideline(an oral one) to ask all breastfeeding mothers to go to their rooms to nurse. This is the first I have heard of any oral guideline from anyone. It was never mentioned before. She told me this was because they had multicultural residents here and that they need to protects all the residents from feeling uncomfortable. Because of this they are not changing their stance on us breastfeeding downstairs. She also said that she has received calls from corporate but that each RMH is run independently. They have also received calls from national donors and she said that was uncomfortable and that all of our emails crashed their server(although they have fixed it now) which was costing them money.This is all I know for now but I will be contacting the LLL about representaion of some sort at the meeting and I am going to try and get ahold of corporate myself right now. Thank you all for your continued support..and please keep the pressure coming, we will need it now MORE THAN EVER to make sure all moms have the right to breastfeed at the RMH. Please call or email Naomi Scott at 713.795.3560 or nscott@rmhhouston.organd call or fax corporate if you feel you can as well. Corporate RMHPhone: 630-623-7048Fax: 630-623-7488Please let them know that their apparent "oral guideline" as Naomi put it, of directing employees and volunteers to ask mothers to nurse only in their rooms is not acceptable and that we should be able to nurse anywhere we are allowed to be at RMH. Especially since bottle-feeding is perfectly acceptable in these same communal areas(there was a woman in the common area feeding a bottle last night).

BTW. she never called me back.

Please pray for Sierra

Sierra Louise is a baby girl born 14 weeks too soon. She has struggled her entire life with infections and other conditions we were blessed to avoid.

Her mom blogs at http://sierralouise.livejournal.com/

Please go pop in and read their story. The family needs prayers, positive thoughts, candles, good karma, whatever you believe. After Amber got some really nasty posts, she had to turn on registration required as well.

Sierra is very sick right now and her parents are having a really hard time. Her daddy is military and stationed about an hour from the hospital. Her mommy Amber is holding up as well as she can, but is lonely and afraid, and I don't blame her one bit for being scared.

I'm praying for the Lord to hold this little family in the palm of His hand.

New videos

For your viewing pleasure, I have posted several new videos of Sydney on YouTube....

Main site http://www.youtube.com/intorainbowz


Going into Disneyland
We go to the beach
Sydney goes on It's a Small World
Sydney gets a crown
Sydney plays with the Mickey Mouse Balloons we bought her
Sydney goes for a ride on the Merry-Go-Round

See, I LOVE LOVE LOVE It's a Small World. I'm dissappointed I could not post the entire ride... We filmed the whole way through.

I have a couple of photo montages planned, I just need to find where I put the camera. I took tons of still pics.

And completely unrelated to the vacation... Sydney watches the crazy techno frog. It has so many hits because if you search for crazy techno frog on youtube, my video was number 3 (now number 7).

Lumpy

So hi there ol' Lumpy.

I don't understand the workings of the Lord, not one bit.

I'm praying all this is worry for nothing, I really am.

I'm praying. I'm praying for strenght, inspiration for your medical providers, and for this to all be benign.

Faith, a person I've known online for years and met once, found a lump. She is having tests next week. I'm hoping for much ado about nothing.

Big hug sent your way Faith.

BTW

The person I spoke of in the post below was my mother. She has no clue.

Last Sunday

So if you want to see what I did last Sunday, please go visit Dawn's blog. She posted about our day.

Only I'll add that I silenced my mom's phone call while we were eating at the California Pizza Kitchen. She called me back and martyred about Vince telling her he needed to do homework rather than go to her house for dinner. She also was a bit miffed I was not dropping my scrap and bitch session. She really does not approve of me scrapping the NICU stay, and has told me so. She thinks I'm just dwelling in the past, I think I am commemorating my baby's birth and life as well as getting therapy while being creative. Scrapping is a coping thing for me.

Dawn also left of the part where I gave myself a black eye while playing with the make up at Victorias Secret, demonstrating my complete lack of ability to put on black eye shadow. That was nice of her.

Good Friday

Today I was cleaning the disaster which is our office desk.

In the piles, there lay the ultrasound reports.

Stacked neatly from week 18 on.

Every other week.

Somewhere about week 28, I spilled a Diet Coke on them.

DAMN.

Those reports reflect such a hard time in our lives. EACH and EVERY one of them mentions the high risk of intrauterine fetal demise. They all discuss that the rate of growth is outside of normal At the first one, at 18 week 0 days, I measured 16 weeks 5 days. The dates just get worse from there. Starting at 1/19/2006 to 5/12/2006 I had a level 2 at least once every 2 weeks. March 30, I had steroids. Good Friday last year, I had to have my NST at the hospital because my ob's office was closed. I almost had a baby that day, and my sister was in a car accident. She was driving to get my sister after dropping me and my mom off at the hospital. I was flunking the NST, then I almost flunked the BPP. Finally my mom's cell phone rang during the BPP. It was the police officer dealing with the accident, but that ringing got DD to practice breathing, and she passed. She had 6 minutes to go before the test ended. They gave me 30 minutes. So stinking stressful.

Yesterday, someone IRL told me that my NICU stay was easy. HA. Sure we avoided a vent, but that was about it. Anyway, it is not a contest, but I told that person I did my worrying my entire pregnancy. I spotted at 5 weeks 6 days. I had my first level 2 at 18 weeks. I had at least one u/s a week from then on. I got to have the stress of a high risk pregnancy for 16 weeks. I was on bed rest for 8. My DD was in the NICU for 6.5. I did my time, TYVM.
I'm right in the anniversary time right now and am struggling. I Just wish thing had gone differently. I love DD and would not trade this experience, it is still painful and hard to deal with.

I just wish things had come out differently.