WHY can people not leave communal office supplies in the communal area? In my office, we have a staple remover which is NEVER by the copier. The stapler is always missing too. I don't work in a penny pinching office, we get what we need. If someone needs a staple remover, they can ask for one. Same with the stapler, tape dispenser, etc.
Where I work, we use company cars. The rule is to fill them up at half a tank. This is so that in an emergency, the state has a fleet of half full cars, rather than a fleet of cars on E. We are all busy where I work. It is a regular occurrence to find the cars below half.
In another office, someone constantly took the three hole punch from my desk. I needed to use it several times a day. First I put a do not remove sign on it. It grew legs and wandered off. Then I used some yarn to tie it to my desk. Someone cut the yarn I ended up using wire to attach it to my desk. That finally left it in place.
It comes down to a lack of common courtesy. People think they need something, and don't want to be bothered getting it the right way. They don't think of the person who comes after them. They don't remember their manners. They just think about what is in their best interests. They are busy, so they will take the easy path.
Maybe we could remember what we learned in school. Share. Wash your hands. Be thoughtful. Think of others. Be kind.
Army Wife Blinkies
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Why I hate being a child welfare social worker:
Why I hate being a child welfare social worker:
1) I am not Solomon. I do not have his wisdom. I am often placed in the position of being asked to make impossible recommendations, choices. Remember when Solomon was going to cut the baby in half, and the baby’s real mother (I hate that term) stopped him. She would have rather had the baby be raised by someone else rather than cut into two. I have rarely seen someone step up and go, you can do this better you raise her. Rather they both fight over the child.
2) I have so much damn paperwork to do. It is overwhelming. I have ADHD, and it is nearly impossible to manage all the deadlines. There is so much nit-picking going on.
3) I am micro-managed. See above. My logs and work are constantly up for criticism and “constructive criticism.” I know I am not perfect, but we have reviews, pre-reviews, post reviews, monthly reviews with the supervisor, admin just reading your cases to see what is going on.
4) It is so stressful. So often, I can see both sides, and am expected to help people find the right decision. Sometimes what the law states does not agree with what is “right” and sometimes what is “right” does not jive with the law. Sometimes neither is clear.
5) People love to personally attack the social worker. I am talked down to, ignored, and hollered at when some other agency does something. I have people consistently violate my personal space, yesterday my arm was grabbed and I was held there while the uncle explained his point of view. People come right up and talk to me in my face. People insult me, my family. I have been hit, spit on, hugged several times in an uncomfortable manner, hit on, asked out, had my butt grabbed. I love people, and there are times where touch is very important. There are times, like when you are coughing and picking your nose, where I don’t want you anywhere near me.
6) People always want to know how I would feel. I have no idea. I know loss and grief, but I don’t know what it is like to have a child in foster care. There is no right answer to that question.
7) I have to work with lawyers who think they are social workers, and want to run the case.
8) I get pressure from upper management to get cases moving, get children adopted, etc, when people just need time. They have not worked cases for so long, etc they have no clue what it is like now.
9) I hate having so many ways for people to yell at me. I am yelled at in person, on email, on the phone, to my supervisor, on the cell, on my voice mail.
10) Have you ever seen a positive portrayal of a child welfare social worker on TV or in the media? Nope did not think so. Need a rotten person to screw up a family, call a social worker. They ignore the dedication and hard work that is done on behalf of the abused children of our country. They ignore the sleepless nights, stress, high blood pressure, anti-depressant use, personal money spent, time off the clock spent to help the children and families on our cases.
11) My caseload is SUPPOSED to be 15. I am at 21. I get no leeway on the paperwork or allowances. No overtime. I would not work it anyway, I NEED time with my family. Just somehow cram it all in.
12) I see the failed war on drugs. I see the damage caused by these poisons. Meth is another way to say "voluntarily destroy my life and family."
Maybe tomorrow or later I will write what I like about being a child welfare worker. It does have its good points as well.
1) I am not Solomon. I do not have his wisdom. I am often placed in the position of being asked to make impossible recommendations, choices. Remember when Solomon was going to cut the baby in half, and the baby’s real mother (I hate that term) stopped him. She would have rather had the baby be raised by someone else rather than cut into two. I have rarely seen someone step up and go, you can do this better you raise her. Rather they both fight over the child.
2) I have so much damn paperwork to do. It is overwhelming. I have ADHD, and it is nearly impossible to manage all the deadlines. There is so much nit-picking going on.
3) I am micro-managed. See above. My logs and work are constantly up for criticism and “constructive criticism.” I know I am not perfect, but we have reviews, pre-reviews, post reviews, monthly reviews with the supervisor, admin just reading your cases to see what is going on.
4) It is so stressful. So often, I can see both sides, and am expected to help people find the right decision. Sometimes what the law states does not agree with what is “right” and sometimes what is “right” does not jive with the law. Sometimes neither is clear.
5) People love to personally attack the social worker. I am talked down to, ignored, and hollered at when some other agency does something. I have people consistently violate my personal space, yesterday my arm was grabbed and I was held there while the uncle explained his point of view. People come right up and talk to me in my face. People insult me, my family. I have been hit, spit on, hugged several times in an uncomfortable manner, hit on, asked out, had my butt grabbed. I love people, and there are times where touch is very important. There are times, like when you are coughing and picking your nose, where I don’t want you anywhere near me.
6) People always want to know how I would feel. I have no idea. I know loss and grief, but I don’t know what it is like to have a child in foster care. There is no right answer to that question.
7) I have to work with lawyers who think they are social workers, and want to run the case.
8) I get pressure from upper management to get cases moving, get children adopted, etc, when people just need time. They have not worked cases for so long, etc they have no clue what it is like now.
9) I hate having so many ways for people to yell at me. I am yelled at in person, on email, on the phone, to my supervisor, on the cell, on my voice mail.
10) Have you ever seen a positive portrayal of a child welfare social worker on TV or in the media? Nope did not think so. Need a rotten person to screw up a family, call a social worker. They ignore the dedication and hard work that is done on behalf of the abused children of our country. They ignore the sleepless nights, stress, high blood pressure, anti-depressant use, personal money spent, time off the clock spent to help the children and families on our cases.
11) My caseload is SUPPOSED to be 15. I am at 21. I get no leeway on the paperwork or allowances. No overtime. I would not work it anyway, I NEED time with my family. Just somehow cram it all in.
12) I see the failed war on drugs. I see the damage caused by these poisons. Meth is another way to say "voluntarily destroy my life and family."
Maybe tomorrow or later I will write what I like about being a child welfare worker. It does have its good points as well.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Infertility, war, and pain.
I have such mixed feelings right now. (K&T, this is not about you, I am so happy for you.) Two of my friends just had a lovely baby girl. She is so cute and cuddly. She has a lot of cute silky black hair. She is so precious.
So I go to see them at the Hospital. (“Gotta go see the baby”, Seinfeld reference.) They were so happy. The baby has jaundice, and has to be under the lights. She does not like being there, she wants to be held and cuddled. So, after I got there she got really fussy, and I got to hold her for a bit. It was heaven holding such a new life. I cuddled her tight and told her she was loved. She calmed right down, not because she knew me or anything like that, but because she was being held. I sat and rocked her for about 10 minutes. I looked at her little face and she is so pretty. Her eyes are purple. The nurse came in, and I basically bolted from the room. I think I might have been rude for how fast I took off. I made a lame excuse and gave the baby back and bolted.
Here is why. The baby is a biracial baby. She looked almost exactly what I have pictured DH’s and my baby to look like. The features were different, but she is the same coloring and hair type as I have imagined that my baby will look like.
See, DH and I have tried to have a baby for years. In summary, here are our attempts:
2 year Anniversary: We decide to stop taking the pill, and let nature take it’s course. I temp and chart until I get mad one morning and throw the thermometer across the room.
2 years later: I contact a reproductive endocrinologist. He has a 6-month wait to see him. While I wait, my GP refers me over to the OB/GYN at the clinic. DH has a semen analysis, which said he is fine I get loads of tests run. I have a GTT, tons of blood work, and then a hysterosalpingram(HSG). It was super painful and uncomfortable. It showed that I have a deformed uterus. (Something an earlier ultrasound had shown, but no one had told me this.) I google this, and then demand a MRI. I get the MRI. The nurse practioner who I had been seeing kept saying I had a bicorniate uterus, and there was nothing to be done. But she also said that I had a septate uterus, and there are things that can be done about this. Basically, my uterus had a big ol’ septum in it, like the one in your nose. I’ve had it since birth, but it was growing. It was so big, there was no way that sperm could get anywhere near an egg, if it had wanted to. The septum was curled around blocking the cervix. . My periods would start, stop, and start again based on where the septum was. I now know that I could feel the dang thing. The RN wanted me to try a clomid cycle, to see if I would ovulate and get pregnant, and to see how long the pregnancy would last. Well, knowing that I have a huge thing in there taking space, I declined to be her human experiment. What if I had gotten pregnant and lost the pregnancy?
About then is when we meet with the RE. He think the septum can be fixed and wants more tests. Fun with another semen analysis. I have a septate uterus, not a bicorniate one.
April, 2004 I have surgery to fix my septate uterus.
September 2004 I have pain in that area. I think I have a cyst. I am off BCP for the first time in months, TTC. After an ultrasound, I meet with the doctor. He asks how I am doing, and I am honest. I am a wreck. I have had depression in the past, and it is back full gear. Back on the BCP while the depression is worked out. I start therapy and medication.
December 2004: at the Christmas party for DH’s military unit, they say if you want to procreate now is the time before a possible deployment. I am not ready at this time.
April 2005: I have foot surgery.
June 2005: DH leaves for a month for military training.
August 2005: We decide to TTC next month, after I get some things checked out. Then he goes to drill. They state in formation that a deployment is coming January to March. Bombshell.
If I were to get pregnant now, I would be by myself for the entire pregnancy and first year of our child’s life. DH would miss everything. He would come home to find drastic changes in our lives. He would come home to a child he does not know, and who does not know him. He would come home to a wife who has never been a wife and mother together. He would come home to find his wife is now a mother, and she has changed. He would be a father and husband, never having been both together, and basically having a year off from doing both at the same time. He is looking at a 12-18 month deployment, or however long the army keeps him there. He might not come home. He could come home wounded, with PTSD, or both.
We had a hard enough time with adjusting when he came home after a month, and nothing major happened. I don’t think that the transition to him being home with a new child, wife who’s now a mother, and he’s a father to a child who is in prime clinging stage would be successful at all. On top of this, we would have the baggage of the deployment to deal with. A great fear is that he would never really bond with the baby, want another one quickly, and then bond with the second baby. All this is assuming that we have no TTC difficulties.
I don’t know if my marriage is strong enough to survive all that. Our marriage is strong, but that seems like a lot to deal with.
I have realized there is the high probability that I will not have children until I am 30. I likely have another 2 years of being childless. That is so hard to handle. I am ready now. Things that were not right, are right now. Why this wrench? Why this struggle? What do I further have to learn from this trial? Why is God giving us this trial?
I realized that I am grieving. Grieving for the child I hoped to have in 9 months. Grieving for the thought of my husband going to fight in a war I do not agree with. Grieving for my life as it was. Grieving for the fairy tail. Grieving for the pregnancy I want to have. Grieving for the time that was lost because of health needs. Grieving for the time that was spent getting me better emotionally. Grieving for my longed for, imagined child.
I’m also thinking the “what ifs”. What if I had not had the septum problem? What if I had not gotten depressed? What if DH was not in the military? What if GWB had not started this damn war so he could get re-elected? What if DH dies? What if DH gets wounded? What if DH gets PTSD so bad we can no longer be together, or it is no longer safe for him to be a dad? What if we never have children?
If he leaves, our lives will change. Things will change between us. We will spend a year or longer having completely lives. I will live in safety, getting a masters degree. He will live in hell, worrying when the next attack will come, wondering if his turn is next. We will wonder how the other is doing, and how to keep things together. I realized we might never have children together. What a loss. He is scared of becoming a father, but he will make a wonderful father. I know this because he has made a wonderful husband.
I love him, and want nothing more than for him to not have to go. If he does go, I will do my best to figure out how to be a good wife to someone I never see. I’ll send letters, packages, emails. I’ll talk on the phone and on the IM. I won’t get as much support from him because of the demands of the military life. He’ll get daily letters, I’ll be lucky to get something weekly. I understand this. I’ll be told to thank him for his service and sacrifice, with no mention of mine. Is this enough to maintain a relationship? I don’t know.
So that is were I am. I freaked out holding a precious infant. She looked like my baby could have looked like. I want a little girl so bad. I want a little boy as well. I likely won’t get to see what my infant looks like for some time. I won’t get to feel the baby inside of me, get funky cravings, and participate in giving life for some time. I won’t get to see my husband hold our child for some time. This is a hard burden to carry.
So I go to see them at the Hospital. (“Gotta go see the baby”, Seinfeld reference.) They were so happy. The baby has jaundice, and has to be under the lights. She does not like being there, she wants to be held and cuddled. So, after I got there she got really fussy, and I got to hold her for a bit. It was heaven holding such a new life. I cuddled her tight and told her she was loved. She calmed right down, not because she knew me or anything like that, but because she was being held. I sat and rocked her for about 10 minutes. I looked at her little face and she is so pretty. Her eyes are purple. The nurse came in, and I basically bolted from the room. I think I might have been rude for how fast I took off. I made a lame excuse and gave the baby back and bolted.
Here is why. The baby is a biracial baby. She looked almost exactly what I have pictured DH’s and my baby to look like. The features were different, but she is the same coloring and hair type as I have imagined that my baby will look like.
See, DH and I have tried to have a baby for years. In summary, here are our attempts:
2 year Anniversary: We decide to stop taking the pill, and let nature take it’s course. I temp and chart until I get mad one morning and throw the thermometer across the room.
2 years later: I contact a reproductive endocrinologist. He has a 6-month wait to see him. While I wait, my GP refers me over to the OB/GYN at the clinic. DH has a semen analysis, which said he is fine I get loads of tests run. I have a GTT, tons of blood work, and then a hysterosalpingram(HSG). It was super painful and uncomfortable. It showed that I have a deformed uterus. (Something an earlier ultrasound had shown, but no one had told me this.) I google this, and then demand a MRI. I get the MRI. The nurse practioner who I had been seeing kept saying I had a bicorniate uterus, and there was nothing to be done. But she also said that I had a septate uterus, and there are things that can be done about this. Basically, my uterus had a big ol’ septum in it, like the one in your nose. I’ve had it since birth, but it was growing. It was so big, there was no way that sperm could get anywhere near an egg, if it had wanted to. The septum was curled around blocking the cervix. . My periods would start, stop, and start again based on where the septum was. I now know that I could feel the dang thing. The RN wanted me to try a clomid cycle, to see if I would ovulate and get pregnant, and to see how long the pregnancy would last. Well, knowing that I have a huge thing in there taking space, I declined to be her human experiment. What if I had gotten pregnant and lost the pregnancy?
About then is when we meet with the RE. He think the septum can be fixed and wants more tests. Fun with another semen analysis. I have a septate uterus, not a bicorniate one.
April, 2004 I have surgery to fix my septate uterus.
September 2004 I have pain in that area. I think I have a cyst. I am off BCP for the first time in months, TTC. After an ultrasound, I meet with the doctor. He asks how I am doing, and I am honest. I am a wreck. I have had depression in the past, and it is back full gear. Back on the BCP while the depression is worked out. I start therapy and medication.
December 2004: at the Christmas party for DH’s military unit, they say if you want to procreate now is the time before a possible deployment. I am not ready at this time.
April 2005: I have foot surgery.
June 2005: DH leaves for a month for military training.
August 2005: We decide to TTC next month, after I get some things checked out. Then he goes to drill. They state in formation that a deployment is coming January to March. Bombshell.
If I were to get pregnant now, I would be by myself for the entire pregnancy and first year of our child’s life. DH would miss everything. He would come home to find drastic changes in our lives. He would come home to a child he does not know, and who does not know him. He would come home to a wife who has never been a wife and mother together. He would come home to find his wife is now a mother, and she has changed. He would be a father and husband, never having been both together, and basically having a year off from doing both at the same time. He is looking at a 12-18 month deployment, or however long the army keeps him there. He might not come home. He could come home wounded, with PTSD, or both.
We had a hard enough time with adjusting when he came home after a month, and nothing major happened. I don’t think that the transition to him being home with a new child, wife who’s now a mother, and he’s a father to a child who is in prime clinging stage would be successful at all. On top of this, we would have the baggage of the deployment to deal with. A great fear is that he would never really bond with the baby, want another one quickly, and then bond with the second baby. All this is assuming that we have no TTC difficulties.
I don’t know if my marriage is strong enough to survive all that. Our marriage is strong, but that seems like a lot to deal with.
I have realized there is the high probability that I will not have children until I am 30. I likely have another 2 years of being childless. That is so hard to handle. I am ready now. Things that were not right, are right now. Why this wrench? Why this struggle? What do I further have to learn from this trial? Why is God giving us this trial?
I realized that I am grieving. Grieving for the child I hoped to have in 9 months. Grieving for the thought of my husband going to fight in a war I do not agree with. Grieving for my life as it was. Grieving for the fairy tail. Grieving for the pregnancy I want to have. Grieving for the time that was lost because of health needs. Grieving for the time that was spent getting me better emotionally. Grieving for my longed for, imagined child.
I’m also thinking the “what ifs”. What if I had not had the septum problem? What if I had not gotten depressed? What if DH was not in the military? What if GWB had not started this damn war so he could get re-elected? What if DH dies? What if DH gets wounded? What if DH gets PTSD so bad we can no longer be together, or it is no longer safe for him to be a dad? What if we never have children?
If he leaves, our lives will change. Things will change between us. We will spend a year or longer having completely lives. I will live in safety, getting a masters degree. He will live in hell, worrying when the next attack will come, wondering if his turn is next. We will wonder how the other is doing, and how to keep things together. I realized we might never have children together. What a loss. He is scared of becoming a father, but he will make a wonderful father. I know this because he has made a wonderful husband.
I love him, and want nothing more than for him to not have to go. If he does go, I will do my best to figure out how to be a good wife to someone I never see. I’ll send letters, packages, emails. I’ll talk on the phone and on the IM. I won’t get as much support from him because of the demands of the military life. He’ll get daily letters, I’ll be lucky to get something weekly. I understand this. I’ll be told to thank him for his service and sacrifice, with no mention of mine. Is this enough to maintain a relationship? I don’t know.
So that is were I am. I freaked out holding a precious infant. She looked like my baby could have looked like. I want a little girl so bad. I want a little boy as well. I likely won’t get to see what my infant looks like for some time. I won’t get to feel the baby inside of me, get funky cravings, and participate in giving life for some time. I won’t get to see my husband hold our child for some time. This is a hard burden to carry.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Bush and Babies
Again, the Bush adminstration is admitting they failed to plan for the so-called peace after the invasion. To read the story, click here. I am so angry at the way Americans were lied too. I cannot believe that there are people out there who still support Bush.
On to another topic, I want to know when I became my husband's personal errand runner. So this is drill weekend. He ran out of here late, after spending several hours packing his gear for a hike today. He KNEW he needed to get his PT (exercise uniform) ready, because he had me wash it. Well, guess what he forgot... his running shoes. So he calls me at 8:00 (on a Sunday, no less) and asks me to bring them down. I really wanted to say no, I'm not driving to Salt Lake City to drop off your shoes. This is a 2 hour round trip. But if I don't he gets into trouble. He wanted me to get them there by noon. Well.... I read a magazine and fell asleep. So I get ready to go, and leave about noon. He calls me as I am leaving, and was a bit unhappy they were not there already. However, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, because he already knew I was close to saying no. I drive down there, and give him the shoes. He is really nice to me, and tells me that I look really good. I give him his shoes, and he gave me a kiss. I really love him which is a good thing, or I would so fed up. This is the second time I have had to drive to SLC because he forgot something, but last time I had to drive way south and it was a 3 hour round trip.
Last week I was REALLY pushing him to TTC. He said no. I'm doing Weight Watchers, and still have about 30 pounds to go. I want to have a baby now. So I pushed him, and he said yes. Then I read an article about how to prepare to get pregnant, and now I am saying wait. I need to get on the prenatals, get my teeth bleached, get my vaccines updated, etc. I really should lose about 10 or 20 more pounds. I am just tired of waiting to try again. Maybe next month we will TTC. Right now, back on the Yasmin.
On to another topic, I want to know when I became my husband's personal errand runner. So this is drill weekend. He ran out of here late, after spending several hours packing his gear for a hike today. He KNEW he needed to get his PT (exercise uniform) ready, because he had me wash it. Well, guess what he forgot... his running shoes. So he calls me at 8:00 (on a Sunday, no less) and asks me to bring them down. I really wanted to say no, I'm not driving to Salt Lake City to drop off your shoes. This is a 2 hour round trip. But if I don't he gets into trouble. He wanted me to get them there by noon. Well.... I read a magazine and fell asleep. So I get ready to go, and leave about noon. He calls me as I am leaving, and was a bit unhappy they were not there already. However, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, because he already knew I was close to saying no. I drive down there, and give him the shoes. He is really nice to me, and tells me that I look really good. I give him his shoes, and he gave me a kiss. I really love him which is a good thing, or I would so fed up. This is the second time I have had to drive to SLC because he forgot something, but last time I had to drive way south and it was a 3 hour round trip.
Last week I was REALLY pushing him to TTC. He said no. I'm doing Weight Watchers, and still have about 30 pounds to go. I want to have a baby now. So I pushed him, and he said yes. Then I read an article about how to prepare to get pregnant, and now I am saying wait. I need to get on the prenatals, get my teeth bleached, get my vaccines updated, etc. I really should lose about 10 or 20 more pounds. I am just tired of waiting to try again. Maybe next month we will TTC. Right now, back on the Yasmin.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Bored Saturday
I have tons I should do, but I'm not. I'm rather bored.
I posted this on a BB I am on. I just want to raise my voice in protest.
My opinion....
The American people were lied to. Starting this was rushed, and the Adminsitration did not care that they were ticking off the entire world. Had they tried a little diplomacy with countries which are usually American Allies, I think we could have got more help.
I think they really thought that the people would greet the Americans with open arms, and failed to plan for the time after they had control. Are we doing good things there? Yes. Are we doing bad things there? Yes (ie. Abu Gahrab) Are we forgetting many examples of the past? Yes. I am worried we are forcing our culture and values on them, just as America tried to do with the Native Americans in the name of Manifest Destiny.
We should NEVER have gone there. Bush is headed to my town next week. Guess who has the day off and plans to head there with my stop Bush sign? ME!
HOWEVER, we are there now. I HATE to say this, but we CANNOT just up and leave. The job must be finished. I wish they would remember that we have lots of bombs and bomb the smack out of the insurgents. Mine the border with Syria and stop in influx of Terrorists. One of my big angers with how this war is being run is that I believe that too many soldiers are dying because they are too busy trying to fight a politically correct war, which is impossible to do.
Example... The checker at the BX stated her son is over there. He builds buildings with cement. What is a key ingredient in cement? Sand. What do they have an endless supply of over there? Sand? Why is her son spending a lot of time playing X-Box? Because the sand there is HOLY SAND, and they cannot use it to build. They are waiting for sand to be shipped to Iraq, so they can build a mess which will become a school when they leave. We are shipping SAND to the SAND BOX! BTW, He is in Iraq, not Mecca or any place like that. Oh, and the Iraqi, they us the sand to build everything. We are so worried about how to treat the Koran, we have forgotten that war is hell.
I 100% support the soldiers. My support for them is strong and fast. It is the president and his administration for which I have no trust or support.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." — President Theodore Roosevelt
There are some who feel that because my DH is in the Army, I am mandated to agree with the president. I disagree.
Had a lovely night with DH last night. He is such a kind and giving man. It was an amazing night. I love him even more each day. (Sappy, I know)
I posted this on a BB I am on. I just want to raise my voice in protest.
My opinion....
The American people were lied to. Starting this was rushed, and the Adminsitration did not care that they were ticking off the entire world. Had they tried a little diplomacy with countries which are usually American Allies, I think we could have got more help.
I think they really thought that the people would greet the Americans with open arms, and failed to plan for the time after they had control. Are we doing good things there? Yes. Are we doing bad things there? Yes (ie. Abu Gahrab) Are we forgetting many examples of the past? Yes. I am worried we are forcing our culture and values on them, just as America tried to do with the Native Americans in the name of Manifest Destiny.
We should NEVER have gone there. Bush is headed to my town next week. Guess who has the day off and plans to head there with my stop Bush sign? ME!
HOWEVER, we are there now. I HATE to say this, but we CANNOT just up and leave. The job must be finished. I wish they would remember that we have lots of bombs and bomb the smack out of the insurgents. Mine the border with Syria and stop in influx of Terrorists. One of my big angers with how this war is being run is that I believe that too many soldiers are dying because they are too busy trying to fight a politically correct war, which is impossible to do.
Example... The checker at the BX stated her son is over there. He builds buildings with cement. What is a key ingredient in cement? Sand. What do they have an endless supply of over there? Sand? Why is her son spending a lot of time playing X-Box? Because the sand there is HOLY SAND, and they cannot use it to build. They are waiting for sand to be shipped to Iraq, so they can build a mess which will become a school when they leave. We are shipping SAND to the SAND BOX! BTW, He is in Iraq, not Mecca or any place like that. Oh, and the Iraqi, they us the sand to build everything. We are so worried about how to treat the Koran, we have forgotten that war is hell.
I 100% support the soldiers. My support for them is strong and fast. It is the president and his administration for which I have no trust or support.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." — President Theodore Roosevelt
There are some who feel that because my DH is in the Army, I am mandated to agree with the president. I disagree.
Had a lovely night with DH last night. He is such a kind and giving man. It was an amazing night. I love him even more each day. (Sappy, I know)
Friday, August 12, 2005
The start of an adventure!
I finally got a blog! It took me FOREVER to pick a name for this little experiment, but I finally though of the nick name that my grandpa had for me. He would call me Wendy Jean the Jelly Bean. He and have the same birthday, so we were really close. It is hard to believe that he has been dead for 10 years last March.
My 10 year renuion is next weekend. I have NO desire to go at all. I don't have a lot of positive memories of then. I am completely different person than I was. I am very happy in my life now, and can see no benefit from a walk down memory lane. High School was a painful time for me. Why revisit it when today is so much sweeter? Anyway, those types of functions ALWAYS bring up the fact that DH and I don't have children. I am sick of people thinking we are newlyweds, having marital difficulties, or I am too obsessed with my career to have babies. Guess what, the egg won't release to meet the sperm.
I really pushed DH earlier this week about TTC again. First he was saying no. Then he agreed. Then I read a magazine about how to prepare to get pregnant, and I said no. One more month on the Yasmin. I'm taking prenatals, gonna bleach the teeth, get highlights, get blood work done, get my vaccines updated, then TTC. I still need to lose about 30 pounds to get to my ideal weight. 10 pounds would push me from obese to overweight on the BMI scale. I just got too excited, and was racing.
I had a week from hell. I worked way more than I am allowed to. I only wrote down 40. I am really angry at myself about that. Then management thinks this insane job can actually be done in 40 hours. My mileage is huge, so we'll have money to buy a single one of DH's text books. HAHA.
So that's my blog. I've wanted one forever, and I finally have one.
My 10 year renuion is next weekend. I have NO desire to go at all. I don't have a lot of positive memories of then. I am completely different person than I was. I am very happy in my life now, and can see no benefit from a walk down memory lane. High School was a painful time for me. Why revisit it when today is so much sweeter? Anyway, those types of functions ALWAYS bring up the fact that DH and I don't have children. I am sick of people thinking we are newlyweds, having marital difficulties, or I am too obsessed with my career to have babies. Guess what, the egg won't release to meet the sperm.
I really pushed DH earlier this week about TTC again. First he was saying no. Then he agreed. Then I read a magazine about how to prepare to get pregnant, and I said no. One more month on the Yasmin. I'm taking prenatals, gonna bleach the teeth, get highlights, get blood work done, get my vaccines updated, then TTC. I still need to lose about 30 pounds to get to my ideal weight. 10 pounds would push me from obese to overweight on the BMI scale. I just got too excited, and was racing.
I had a week from hell. I worked way more than I am allowed to. I only wrote down 40. I am really angry at myself about that. Then management thinks this insane job can actually be done in 40 hours. My mileage is huge, so we'll have money to buy a single one of DH's text books. HAHA.
So that's my blog. I've wanted one forever, and I finally have one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Blinkies about me
Sydney's blinkies
Mommy blinkies
Nicu Blinkies
Breast Feeding Blinkies
Blinkin 4 A Cause
