Hiatus over!

Hi, I've been back for about a week. I've needed some time to screw my head back on.

Random Vacation post mortem:

1. We had a blast. It was WONDERFUL. We so needed a break.
2. Disneyland is designed to get you to overspend, which we did with gusto.
3. The never lost (GPS) feature on the rental care was a vacation saver. It was so cool. I really want one now.
4. Vince is useless on an airplane. He basically plugged into the Tv's on Jet blue and forgot about me and Sydney. I got really mad at him, and he was like what am I doing, because he is one of those people who when they put the headphones in, forget there is a world out there beyond the headphones.
5. Wicked was WONDERFUL. I want to see it again. I cried several times. Vince even liked it. It was so very moving and I could just keep typing adoring adjectives, but will stop. There will be a post dedicated to Wicked.
6. Single Rider at Disneyland California is the best thing EVER. Basically you go to the front of the line. I was in line with a sweet couple on their honeymoon. She got picked first, then the attendant came and got the groom and I and then put us in line next to each other. I hurried and went and swapped with the bride.
7. There are 2 Sheraton's within shouting distance of Disneyland. Who knew?
8. MIL will find a way to call at a time which will be most embarrassing, ie when you learn you are at the wrong Sheraton. She will then lecture you. I will post about her too.
9. It was so very nice to just be with my family. Sydney is so smart.
10. Sydney cut her first tooth on March 11, the second day we were there. Sydney is a traffic stopper, she is so dang cute. It really throws people to see someone that small sitting, etc. She loves the stroller.
11. The trip was hard on Sydney. She went on a bit of a eating strike. She lost weight on the trip. We found out the day after we got back, because she was running a VERY high fever, that Sydney had an ear infection on the way home, which would explain the constant crying the flight home.
12. NEVER eat at the IHOP right by Disneyland. A normal breakfast for 3 adults with tip was $55. That is insane, and the service was not that good. No, no one had fillet Mignon.
13. It was so nice to stay at a nice hotel.
14. It was well worth it for the upgrade to the full size car, as we had so much crap.
15. Sydney thought the Haunted Mansion was a comedy ride. She laughed the whole way through. As we went in, Vince worried that she would be scared. I told him she was too young to know it is supposed to be scary, and I was right.
16. Sydney hates things that go wosh, ie the doors on the Monorail and flushing toilets.
17. My sister is a SPOILED BRAT. She went to California the day before we came home. Initially we intended to only spend 2 days at Disney, so I offered to sell her one day at $30. (Full retail price of one day park hopper ticket $83+tax.) She really made a stink about this. I figured I was saving her $50, and the tickets were not free for us, they were part of our package. Then after 2 days we had not done all we wanted, so we wanted to go again. I'd already committed to selling her the ticket, so we ended up purchasing another one at full price ($63 for one park). I'm really upset at me for agreeing to do that. It ended up costing me about $35 to save her $50.
18. Vince wants to move to LA. I'm in the HELL NO camp on that one. I don't want to live there. I miss the ocean and the palm trees, but I have no desire to live there. Anyway, we would only be able to afford a shack in an awful neighborhood.
19. I have some great pictures and video I'll post.
20. When we were eating at an in park restaurant I said to Vince, I don't know why we never came here to eat when I was growing up. When I saw the tab, I understood. $40. Two large and very good dinners for Vince and I, a REALLY good piece of chocolate cake (really big too) and sodas. As this was a buffet style place, no tip.

I have a lot of things to post, so I'm going to get cracking.

Public Service Announcement: Re working mothers

Written in response to a PM I recieved on a BB I hang out on....

To whom it may concern:

I don't want your opinion on my working. I'm not giving my opinion on your family planning/SAHM status, why do you feel privileged to do so? We were talking about a completely unrelated subject, and you chose to bash me for being a working mom.

I had a very welcomed and longed for but unplanned pregnancy, not that this is ANY of you business. We had been planning to do intensive IUI then IVF after DH graduated from college. I'm the breadwinner right now. However, I got miraculously pregnant all by ourselves ahead of schedule.

When I saw that positive pregnancy test, I was overjoyed beyond measure. I also knew I would be a working mama. Or I could be broke and homeless with no health insurance. Or I could have aborted a miracle. Those were my three options. (And actually the third one was no where near an option. As was number 2.)

You say you are pro-life and that you would not have had children if you had to work.... again what would you have had me do in this situation? Me personally, I chose to give life, love my baby and DH, and enjoy my family. Family is first, work is a far second.

I'm so glad that your life was so planned that you did not have to work. I do have to and choose to work. I also LOVE working. My DD is very loved and very attached to me and DH. I consider that I might want to be a SAHM, but right now that is not in the cards. I think that DH and I are the best parents we can be, day care included. We did give how to raise her a second thought BTW. We read, studied, and planned. We were prepared parents, even if to you we do not appear to be, because DD was born before we were both out of college, home owners, and financially stable.

Joy does not wait for the check book to be balanced.

I refuse to let you guilt me with your claims of children are best cared for in their homes by their parents... BS! I've seen PLENTY of SAHM's who do nothing but watch TV all day. DD is in a day care where she get attention and yes LOVE. She is loved by her DCP, by the DCP's children and by the other children, and she loves them. Yes this is not a mother's love, but I believe that children need to have a loving environment no matter were they are. She gets loads of attention and love from me 16 hours of the day. She is with DCP 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Otherwise she is usally with me or DH. I've actually read a study but can't remember the link stating that SAHM's and WOHM's spend about the same amount of time with their children.

I don't go around lecturing SAHM's about how I think they should be working, as I firmly believe that every woman should have the choice to stay home if that is what she wants and can afford it. I do not believe you have any right to feel above me because our lives are very different.

I have a wonderful job which is very flexible and compatible with mothering. My situation may not seem perfect, but it is the working very well for us. Who's situation is perfect, anyway?

Oh, and if you are saying Don't be offended but...well then, you know what you are saying is offensive and judgemental.

And just in case you are wondering what she said to spark this entry... I'm pasting the relevent parts of her message...

Honestly, I do not EVER judge women for returning to work after having children because that is a very personal decision and sometimes a necessity. I planned my family for over 5 years and one of the first things that we agreed upon was that one of us would be a SAHM because I did not ever trust anybody to provide as much love and care as me or my partner. Not saying that DCP's aren't loving and nurturing, but I wanted that for my children from *ME*. Don't take offense to that (because I know many mom's would/will), but personally I feel that a child is best cared for by mommy or daddy at home. And I think there are a lot of people in this world planning families and not even giving that a 2nd thought. Again, personally, I wouldn't have even contemplated having children if I had to work. I just didn't want that for my child(ren). I am 40 and my oldest is 2. I waited until I knew that I was going to be her caregiver 24/7. But again, that's not always possible, so you have to give up some things that you normally wouldn't have had to.

Some of those lactivists make me laugh. I think the vast majority of them are probably pro-choice. So, it's ok to choose to end the life of a fetus, but it's NOT ok to feed that same baby formula? WHAT? I just have to laugh at half of those posts. Again, I'm a huge advocate for nursing your child, but I'm more of an advocate for loving your child.

Sorry to have offended you, but I call it the way I see it and so many people can't handle that (i.e. the closed thread).

Seat Belts

As you may or may not know, I'm a huge proponent of seat belts. I believe that not using a seat belt should be a primary offense, allowing law enforcement to pull you over and cite you for it.

Seat belts save lives. I'm alive because of one.

So today some co-workers and I went to lunch. We all went in a state owned mini-van, as we were also going to a meeting after. It is state law and policy that employees wear their seat belts while on the job, and after as well.

One of my co-workers did not put on her seat belt.

I asked her to. I got a "yes mommy." as she grudgingly fastened the belt. I told her that yes, I am the seat belt nazi.

See, it was not just endangering her to not be wearing her seatbelt. It was endangering all of us in the car because if we are in an accident, she then goes flying around the car, hitting others.

I am like, put on your damn seat belt. It's the rules and you should not have to be reminded.

Banned Books

I got this idea from Faith and Trista.... Lets talk about banned books I've read.....

I have a REAL problem with censorship. Just because someone writes it, that does not mean you have to read it. I also, as a parent, have the right to chose what Sydney reads until she is mature enough to handle it, to understand it. As a parent, this is not censorship, rather guidance. I will be giving her a copy of Are you there God, it's me Margret when she is about 11.

Plus, I know that as a parent who was a child, she has access to the school and public library. I'd rather her be open with me about what books she is reading, rather than hide them as I did. My mom was appalled to find Killer Clown in the pile to go back, but by then I had read it. I was smart enough to know she would object so I hid it when I checked it out and took it to school and read it there. BTW, this was on the recommendation of my 8th grade history teacher. (Side note, WHAT was he thinking recommending that book to an 8th grader. High school junior or senior, sure, but an 8th grader)

A prime example of this would be the new James Cameron "documentary" where he claims to find the bones of Jesus. As a Christian, I don't believe that is possible as I believe Jesus was resurrected. And FTR, James Cameron may have produced one of my all time favorite movies, Titanic natch, but I don't see him as a spiritual leader, and what ever he says won't shake my faith one bit. I however support his right to say what he wishes, but I chose not to watch the show.

In honor of my going and seeing the play, I just bought Wicked the book, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who think that book belongs on here.

From http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/100mostfrequently.htm

I've bold-ed the one's I've read and my commentary on selected books is blue. The ones I've never heard of are green.

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain Funny how this banned book was mandatory reading in high school. Much more depth to this story than Tom Sawyer.
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck No, but I read Grapes of Wrath
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling I can't believe that anyone tried to ban Harry. I've read the entire series at least twice, and read books 1-6 again in order while on bed rest. I can tell you exactly what I will be doing on July 13 and July 21.
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier Another banned book which was required reading.
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger I know something is lacking in my education that I have not read this book.
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine I used to read these like crazy when I was in Junior High.
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker Does seeing the movie count?
19. Sex by Madonna Flipped through a copy that a friend's older brother bought... We did this hidden and in secret. The same woman who made this book now complains her daughter wears too tight jeans. Wendy shakes her head.
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous Does reading the Q&A on the website count?
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak You're kidding me, right? Someone tried to ban a book by the author of Where the Wild Things Are? Wendy makes a mental note to check this book out at Barnes and Noble and likely buy it for Sydney.
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl My mom read this book aloud to us after we saw the movie The Witches and my brother loved it.
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume I was read this book in elementary school, and read most of her books.
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam Why do I believe this is a banned book because W stands for Witch? People sure try to ban things about witches.
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood This book is on my list of books to read. I have wanted to read it since I saw the movie of the same name... Very scary movie.
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras AAAKKK Puberty. It's Dirty, lets hide from it and her monthlies will never appear. Remember girls, it's called Men Stru Ation... That last sentence is a reference to a book on this list... 10 points if you are the first one to guess which book.
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Another banned book which was required reading. I loved this book and have read it many times, years and years ago. I want a daughter named Scout.
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison I'm bolding this, even though I did not finish it. I had a very hard time getting into the book and plowed through about 100 pages before I gave up.
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Another required reading banned book. I remember it moving me to tears. I really should read this one again.
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein MIL bought this one for Sydney. My only complaint is that it does not have the "Sick" poem where the character goes "I'm sick today.... What do you mean, it's Saturday? I'm going outside to play." I guess I'll get the other book. I was read this book aloud by teachers and my mother.
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) Read plenty of her other books, but I don't recall reading these... those dang witches. Gotta ban them.
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl Why would they ban this book? I don't remember any witches or sex?
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell Check this one out or purchase with a credit card... get a visit from the FBI. ;)
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest After the movie also on my I should read this list.
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume I've read this one countless times. I wanted my period to come. I wanted to see pads with a belt and hooks. I wanted a better relationship with my mom.
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding Another required reading banned book. Poor Piggy.
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Hey everyone.... I'm having so much fun packing and cleaning! I think I'll be nice and let you come and pack for me!
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford Well, there are adult images drawn into the pictures... plenty of T&A in those drawings. Still a fun way to spend some time. I HATED the page where they were all Waldos and you had to find the only one which was drawn correctly.
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman My mom has a copy of this book. She would read it to us. I just thought it was a cute book until I grew up. The book is in her living room.
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell I was read this book by teachers and my mom. Oh those subversive second grade teachers.
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Wow this list makes me want to go buy some books.

Preparations...

Here is a short list of things which must be accomplished before we leave for LA...

ASAP:

1. Change return air DONE!!!
2. Change car rental Got a great deal though Hotwire.

Immediate:

1. Find out how to transport frozen breast milk... ie what type of ice packs I can use Answer after 15 minutes on hold: See through gel type packs
2. Get a neighbor to feed the cats.
3. Pump and additional 4-8 ounces for the grand total of 20 which I wish to leave with our friends watching Sydney for the whole day. I have 11 ounces now!
4. Buy Imax tickets to guarantee entrance to Star Wars exhibit.
5. Call credit union to tell them we are going on vacation so they don't freeze our cards like last time.

Find, organize, and charge the following electronic devices and their cords - clearning memory as needed:

1. Camcorder
2. Camera
3. Ipods (update playlists)
4. Trouble shoot DVD drive on Vince's laptop (shows as working fine, won't play.)
5. Laptop
6. Cell phones - Decide if we are switching service before or after we go. No, I'm too busy.
7. Install camera and editing footage onto laptop.
8. Set DVD player to record 24
9. Breast pump and accessories

Figure out by Thursday:

1. What type of clothes to pack - winter or spring?
2. How many clothes we need to purchase
3. Go clothes shopping on Wednesday
4. Do we need more luggage?
5. What are we using for carryons/bags at parks
6. Buy locks to lock diaper bag to stroller and stroller to fence. DH is worried about them getting stolen.
7. Buy new gel type clear ice packs.

Clean:

1. Laundry
2. kitchen
3. Living room
4. downstairs bathroom
5. Empty trash cans and fridge of spoilage on Friday night.

Work:

1. Logs must be current (my own rule, I am 3 months behind)
2. PCP's scheduled
3. Office cleaned.

Pack:

1. Electronic gear
2. clothes for 3.
3. personal care items
4. dressy outfit for both DH and I
5. Figure out bags for car seat/stroller and checking these. We are gate checking these. Sydney HATES the car seat, so I imagine that we will use the stroller to carry the car seat while I wear her. We do have a travel system, which is very nice. I read to never check the car seat with your luggage because if it gets delayed you are stuck at the airport with no carseat. If you gate check it, the you have the best chance of it actually making your flight.

Just looking at this list, I am overwhelmed.

I hate traveling with the whole damn house, but I see no other options. We will go from Saturday to Wednesday am with no access to laundry. I'm thinking I need at least 6 (maybe 8) outfits for baby girl.

Defy Gravity!

Guess what is playing in Los Angeles....


It only opened February 21, 2007....

I'm going March 13, 2007.

We are sitting in very good seats.... and paying a pretty penny for them too!!! I was able to get tickets from Ticketmaster, so we at least I did not pay scalper prices. (But I was ready to pay that once I realized it was playing in LA.)

Figured it out??? Of course you have, my readers are very smart!!!!!

I get to see Wicked. I'm so very excited. I cannot wait. I have wanted to see this play so very bad. I so love the story and so love the music.

Yes, Vince is coming, but I can't help but think that was a waste of $100. I'm really thinking of taking our friend in LA who will be watching Sydney and leaving him with the baby. Hopefully he will like the story. I mean, a play CANNOT be that successful with only women and gay men fans? Right???

I'm sleepy.

I have more readers!!!! Yippee and welcome. All the nice comments got me thinking.... I should post!

I took Sydney yesterday to get her Synagis shot. ($150 + $20 copay to doc.) She weighs 11 pounds 13 ounces. She has gained 9 pounds in 9 months, give or take. She is getting taller and gaining some chunk. I'll post some new pictures soon. She has two teeth which have not popped out yet. I'll be glad when they do. I'm very glad to see she is gaining weight. I'm having supply problems, and I was worried about her weight. The ped said he thinks her weight gain is excellent.

ROTC is just kicking Vince's butt. He is trying to do a good job, but they keep changing the rules on him. He is trying to do his OPORD, but they seem to be expecting A LOT more from him than everyone else. If you compare what they want from him to what they accepted last year and OPORDS from other cadets this semester, his is way more detailed. I know because he showed me them from the web site. They have his confidence shattered and he is so depressed. Someone there has been implying that if he does not succeed in the ROTC program, that makes him a failure, in all aspects of his life. He keeps saying what a lousy father and husband he is. I know this is coming from ROTC. (They also seem to feel that his difficulties at ROTC are because of marital problems. They wanted me to come in and talk... I refused, because then I WOULD give them a piece of my mind, which would not help Vince.)I'm really trying to be balanced and not take Vince's side and defend him, as I know there have been times he could have worked harder, done better, etc. I do not believe this is one of those times. The cadre keep telling him to ask for help, but then expect him to have the solution already figured out, so why ask for help? He is getting nothing but negative criticism from them. Could they throw him a freaking bone and say this is better than the last one, because it is?

I'm very worried about him. He seems so defeated, so downtrodden upon. I'm very unhappy at whomever is insinuating that if he fails at the ROTC program that makes him a bad husband and father. ROTC is school, family is family. If you have to be perfect in your entire life to be a good spouse/parent, we are ALL screwed. Hell, I've been fired twice. Does that fact alone make me a bad wife? I don't think so. I think that your job performance is a part of you as a spouse/ parent, but only as far as you are trying, providing for the needs, and that the job does not take over your life. ROTC has taken over his life. His other classes are suffering, again, because of the demands of ROTC.

I wish I could just make this easier on him, but I can't. He is so sad. He is staying up all hours trying to please them. I've been staying up too to try to help, and am exhausted. I'm also going through an insomnia phase right now. These happen to me, and I usually take an ambien for a couple of days to break the cycle. The problem with that is Sydney nurses all night. We are co-sleeping, and you really should not co-sleep and take sedatives. I'm too afraid I'll roll over and kill her to take an ambien. I took 5mg while pregnant, as I had an insomnia spell then. They did not drug me that bad, but I took 10mg while in the hospital when I was very upset and exhausted, and it drugged me up so much, I some how out both contact lenses in the same well.

I'm really worried about our vacation now. I'm worried Vince will not be able to relax and we will have a nightmare of a time. He wants to bring homework. I think he needs a complete get away. He will have 4 days after we get back to study.