Sunday night I was over at my moms. The bench that my mom, who was holding Sydney, was on was not locked correctly, and collapsed. They ended up falling between my mom's bookcase and a rocking chair, we were in their living room. My mom did a great job protecting Sydney, but must have injured her little leg when they fell. My mom was holding Sydney's leg when they fell.
After the fall Sydney cried a lot. We thought it was from the commotion and the 5 women in the room screaming. I held her and got her to nurse, and she seemed ok. She co-slept fine Sunday night, and she had some rough nights the past couple of nights so that seemed like a blessing to me.
Monday morning come. She seems ok, but SCREAMS when I changed her diaper. I fed her mashed potatoes on Sunday night, without knowing they had milk in them. I thought it was gas, because she was farting, so I gave her baby gas medicine and she seemed fine. I noticed she was holding her left leg a bit oddly, but thought maybe her diaper needed adjusting, as she was back to her normal happy self. I packed her up for day care and she SCREAMED when I strapped her in, which is par for the course. She usually cries at car seat time.
I took her to day care. I let her provider know what happened and asked her to call me if anything was wrong. She later told me that Sydney was fine, ate fine, slept a little more than normal, but only cried when she was changing her diaper when it was time for me to pick Sydney up. DCP was very upset by her screaming. She did not call me because she knew I was on my way. I called the pediatricians office and got an after hours appointment at 7. Sydney is weighed and now weighs 10 pounds 2 ounces!!! We see the PA. He is very kind, does x rays, says we need to go to Primary Children's ER in Salt Lake, about 30 miles away.
Silly me, I answer when my mom calls, and she says she is coming down. She feels very bad. I told her that who ever was holding her on that bench it would have happened with. DH had a paper due this am, so we had to call my bro to borrow his laptop so DH could finish his paper.
So after me waiting at the peds office for about 45 minutes, DH, mom and Bro arrive. Sydney was all nursed and happy. We believe in the laying on of hands, so DH and Bro give her a blessing. Her leg got bumped during the blessing and she started screaming. My mom nearly lost it during the blessing and ended up crying all over the MA. She was a very nice and understanding MA.
So we all drive to Primary's. We get there and get checked in. Even though the peds office called down and said we were coming, we are told to wait in the lobby. Ummmm The absolute last place I want Sydney is in a pediatric hospital Er waiting room. I tell the nurse that. She said, "well you said she got the synagis shots..." Yes, but they don't prevent RSV, they minimize it. We end up waiting in the car. Sydney desperately wants to nurse, so my mom ends up walking the parking lot all bundled up.
After an hour waiting, we get in. We wait. We wait. Nurse practitioner come in. Seems he did not look at the chart, so asks all the same questions again. Asks why DD is small. Because she is an ex 34 week preemie weighing 2 pounds 13 ounces, that's why. Anyway, he says that the x-rays that the peds office are basically worthless. Says we have to have some more.
Then the doctor in charge come in. She says that she and an orthopod looked over the x-rays and they were fine. They want different views of her knee after the doctor examined her leg. They also wanted to draw blood to rule out infections. She lets me nurse Sydney about midnight. Big relief for both of us, as I was about to send DH outside for the pump.
So rad tech comes for Sydney and I. We follow her. As we walk past the nurses desk, a nurse there says our x rays are on hold. We go back to our room, where I begin to panic.
As you may know, until a couple of months ago, I was a child welfare worker. Basically, as Sydney is an infant, I've been very upset that CPS would get called. There were plenty of witnesses to the accident, but still I was very worried. It turns out that a good friend was on-call for Davis county last night, but I still was so very worried. I don't want a CPS case, I don't want a CPS worker involved in my family at all. Something similar happened to another DCFS worker and the children got removed, the family was financially devastated, the worker lost his job. Their entire case was overturned by the appeals court. I'd rather skip that destruction to my family. Also, I believe that I would have to be put on admin leave if there is an investigation on-going as I work in a background clearance position of trust. So far to my knowledge, no referral has been made, thank God. It actually turns out that my friend had to respond to Primary Children's ER last night, same time as we were there. She knew where we were because she saw Vince walk into our room. She decided against visiting to spare me the heart attack that would have happened when I saw her, before she could say she was not there on business. I talked to my mom and DH about what to say if DCFS does get involved. As my sister is still a minor, my mom needs to remind her that she needs to ask for her parent if a caseworker shows up. Basically, I've been in the system, and while I think that child welfare is very needed, and I am very supportive of DCFS, I worry greatly about what would happen to my family. Simply put, I've seen a good family destroyed because a worker made an error. I spent a good part of the night worried about CPS. I mean we are talking about a bone injury in a non-mobile infant. I was just hoping no one decided to doubt what happened, because accidents do happen. Also thankfully, a lady from the neighborhood was over when the incident happened, so we have a non family witness, who also happened to be sitting on the collapsed bench.
The nurse comes in and puts the iv in. She gets the blood they needed. She got the IV in with one poke. We go for x-rays. The ladies were none too nice. Simply put, they asked me to wait outside. As I had said to my mom and to the nurse, I've been through worse with the NICU, I'm staying put. This is something that I have committed to myself from the NICU experience, something I learned. I am there for my daughter. At the doctor's office, the gave me a lead apron to wear, and asked me to hold Sydney's hands. At the hospital, I was not given an apron and they did not even speak to me after I refused to leave the room. I believe that even though Sydney was screaming, having me there to whisper to her and stroke her head was comforting. I hope it was. I don't want to get in the staff's way, but I'm her mom. They can do the procedures, I'll love. From being in the NICU, I've observed that when staff is doing a procedure that is their focus. They usually don't say nice things until they are done. That is why I want to be there, to comfort her while they do their job. I see this as they do their job as nurses, I'll do mine as mom.
After the blood tests come back perfectly normal and the x rays come back fine, the doctor recommends that Sydney have a bone scan. They can't do this at night, and we have to call in the am to schedule this. Because this involves injections, they leave the hep-lock from the IV in. I have been taking care of this. Sydney started to chew on the IV, she chews on everything, so I put a little bootie over her hand. It is the blue one she is wearing. She now chews on the blue head, and quite likes the rattle on her hand. She has not fought with it too much. We finally were discharged at 2:45 am. We were all so very tired.
It has been so hard going through this. It is bringing up emotions from the NICU. Medical issues, fear issues, CPS/social work issues, control issues, my mom issues. It's so hard seeing her cry in pain while procedures are done to her again. Seems she now recognizes syringes, as she started crying when she saw the nurse setting things up. Poor baby. It has also been sad when I hurt her. We have been holding and moving her with great care, but sometimes I bump her leg. She also screams when placed in her car seat, and if I'm not very careful when I change her diaper. She is so very active with her limbs, and her little left leg just sits there. She has it bent at the knee, almost tucked under. She may be happy and kicking with her right leg, but not her left. At her bath tonight, Vince held her arm, I bathed. She did the splashing with her feet that I've taught her, but only with her right leg. She does move her left leg, just not nearly as much.
So we go back to the hotel Primarys tomorrow for the bone scan. I can't nurse her after 8 am until after her procedure is finished and she wakes up, so I'll have to pump. She will be so unhappy. They said we can give her pedialyte in her bottle until 10 am. I've never given her anything but breast milk via bottle, so I have no idea how she will take to it. My mom is going with me as Vince has a final.
I called my boss about needing time off. Thankfully he was wonderful. I told him he could call if he needed anything but he reminded me that I no longer work next door (DCFS) and that they'll handle anything. It was so nice to have my boss worried about me and my baby not the work and being upset because she has to do something. Sydney's day care provider has called a couple of times very worried as well.
Sorry for the long post. It just flowed out of me.
After the fall Sydney cried a lot. We thought it was from the commotion and the 5 women in the room screaming. I held her and got her to nurse, and she seemed ok. She co-slept fine Sunday night, and she had some rough nights the past couple of nights so that seemed like a blessing to me.
Monday morning come. She seems ok, but SCREAMS when I changed her diaper. I fed her mashed potatoes on Sunday night, without knowing they had milk in them. I thought it was gas, because she was farting, so I gave her baby gas medicine and she seemed fine. I noticed she was holding her left leg a bit oddly, but thought maybe her diaper needed adjusting, as she was back to her normal happy self. I packed her up for day care and she SCREAMED when I strapped her in, which is par for the course. She usually cries at car seat time.
I took her to day care. I let her provider know what happened and asked her to call me if anything was wrong. She later told me that Sydney was fine, ate fine, slept a little more than normal, but only cried when she was changing her diaper when it was time for me to pick Sydney up. DCP was very upset by her screaming. She did not call me because she knew I was on my way. I called the pediatricians office and got an after hours appointment at 7. Sydney is weighed and now weighs 10 pounds 2 ounces!!! We see the PA. He is very kind, does x rays, says we need to go to Primary Children's ER in Salt Lake, about 30 miles away.
Silly me, I answer when my mom calls, and she says she is coming down. She feels very bad. I told her that who ever was holding her on that bench it would have happened with. DH had a paper due this am, so we had to call my bro to borrow his laptop so DH could finish his paper.
So after me waiting at the peds office for about 45 minutes, DH, mom and Bro arrive. Sydney was all nursed and happy. We believe in the laying on of hands, so DH and Bro give her a blessing. Her leg got bumped during the blessing and she started screaming. My mom nearly lost it during the blessing and ended up crying all over the MA. She was a very nice and understanding MA.
So we all drive to Primary's. We get there and get checked in. Even though the peds office called down and said we were coming, we are told to wait in the lobby. Ummmm The absolute last place I want Sydney is in a pediatric hospital Er waiting room. I tell the nurse that. She said, "well you said she got the synagis shots..." Yes, but they don't prevent RSV, they minimize it. We end up waiting in the car. Sydney desperately wants to nurse, so my mom ends up walking the parking lot all bundled up.
After an hour waiting, we get in. We wait. We wait. Nurse practitioner come in. Seems he did not look at the chart, so asks all the same questions again. Asks why DD is small. Because she is an ex 34 week preemie weighing 2 pounds 13 ounces, that's why. Anyway, he says that the x-rays that the peds office are basically worthless. Says we have to have some more.
Then the doctor in charge come in. She says that she and an orthopod looked over the x-rays and they were fine. They want different views of her knee after the doctor examined her leg. They also wanted to draw blood to rule out infections. She lets me nurse Sydney about midnight. Big relief for both of us, as I was about to send DH outside for the pump.
So rad tech comes for Sydney and I. We follow her. As we walk past the nurses desk, a nurse there says our x rays are on hold. We go back to our room, where I begin to panic.
As you may know, until a couple of months ago, I was a child welfare worker. Basically, as Sydney is an infant, I've been very upset that CPS would get called. There were plenty of witnesses to the accident, but still I was very worried. It turns out that a good friend was on-call for Davis county last night, but I still was so very worried. I don't want a CPS case, I don't want a CPS worker involved in my family at all. Something similar happened to another DCFS worker and the children got removed, the family was financially devastated, the worker lost his job. Their entire case was overturned by the appeals court. I'd rather skip that destruction to my family. Also, I believe that I would have to be put on admin leave if there is an investigation on-going as I work in a background clearance position of trust. So far to my knowledge, no referral has been made, thank God. It actually turns out that my friend had to respond to Primary Children's ER last night, same time as we were there. She knew where we were because she saw Vince walk into our room. She decided against visiting to spare me the heart attack that would have happened when I saw her, before she could say she was not there on business. I talked to my mom and DH about what to say if DCFS does get involved. As my sister is still a minor, my mom needs to remind her that she needs to ask for her parent if a caseworker shows up. Basically, I've been in the system, and while I think that child welfare is very needed, and I am very supportive of DCFS, I worry greatly about what would happen to my family. Simply put, I've seen a good family destroyed because a worker made an error. I spent a good part of the night worried about CPS. I mean we are talking about a bone injury in a non-mobile infant. I was just hoping no one decided to doubt what happened, because accidents do happen. Also thankfully, a lady from the neighborhood was over when the incident happened, so we have a non family witness, who also happened to be sitting on the collapsed bench.
The nurse comes in and puts the iv in. She gets the blood they needed. She got the IV in with one poke. We go for x-rays. The ladies were none too nice. Simply put, they asked me to wait outside. As I had said to my mom and to the nurse, I've been through worse with the NICU, I'm staying put. This is something that I have committed to myself from the NICU experience, something I learned. I am there for my daughter. At the doctor's office, the gave me a lead apron to wear, and asked me to hold Sydney's hands. At the hospital, I was not given an apron and they did not even speak to me after I refused to leave the room. I believe that even though Sydney was screaming, having me there to whisper to her and stroke her head was comforting. I hope it was. I don't want to get in the staff's way, but I'm her mom. They can do the procedures, I'll love. From being in the NICU, I've observed that when staff is doing a procedure that is their focus. They usually don't say nice things until they are done. That is why I want to be there, to comfort her while they do their job. I see this as they do their job as nurses, I'll do mine as mom.
After the blood tests come back perfectly normal and the x rays come back fine, the doctor recommends that Sydney have a bone scan. They can't do this at night, and we have to call in the am to schedule this. Because this involves injections, they leave the hep-lock from the IV in. I have been taking care of this. Sydney started to chew on the IV, she chews on everything, so I put a little bootie over her hand. It is the blue one she is wearing. She now chews on the blue head, and quite likes the rattle on her hand. She has not fought with it too much. We finally were discharged at 2:45 am. We were all so very tired.
It has been so hard going through this. It is bringing up emotions from the NICU. Medical issues, fear issues, CPS/social work issues, control issues, my mom issues. It's so hard seeing her cry in pain while procedures are done to her again. Seems she now recognizes syringes, as she started crying when she saw the nurse setting things up. Poor baby. It has also been sad when I hurt her. We have been holding and moving her with great care, but sometimes I bump her leg. She also screams when placed in her car seat, and if I'm not very careful when I change her diaper. She is so very active with her limbs, and her little left leg just sits there. She has it bent at the knee, almost tucked under. She may be happy and kicking with her right leg, but not her left. At her bath tonight, Vince held her arm, I bathed. She did the splashing with her feet that I've taught her, but only with her right leg. She does move her left leg, just not nearly as much.
So we go back to the hotel Primarys tomorrow for the bone scan. I can't nurse her after 8 am until after her procedure is finished and she wakes up, so I'll have to pump. She will be so unhappy. They said we can give her pedialyte in her bottle until 10 am. I've never given her anything but breast milk via bottle, so I have no idea how she will take to it. My mom is going with me as Vince has a final.
I called my boss about needing time off. Thankfully he was wonderful. I told him he could call if he needed anything but he reminded me that I no longer work next door (DCFS) and that they'll handle anything. It was so nice to have my boss worried about me and my baby not the work and being upset because she has to do something. Sydney's day care provider has called a couple of times very worried as well.
Sorry for the long post. It just flowed out of me.
1 comment:
It is so hard to have your child in the hospital. I'm glad everything turned out well for you.
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