Vince and I started Weight Watchers yesterday. Yup, went to a meeting, paid the dues, stepped on a scale, and joined.
I'm not at my high weight, where I was the last time I started WW. However, I'm over a number I said I would never be over again... but only by 8 ounces., but I AM over that number. (It was my tampon, I swear.)
I do weigh more than I did the day I walked into the hospital to have Sydney. I do weigh much more than I should.
I am very committed. Yesterday for lunch I had a last Hurrah! I had a Crown Burger, fries and fry sauce. Very yummy. Very fattening. Very much a very rare treat from now on. (if ever) I looked at this like Mary Tyler Moore did when she went to the Betty Ford Clinic. I read in her autobiography that she got on the plane to go to the clinic sat down in first class, and was offered a drink... she figured one last chance to enjoy so she did and she showed up at the Betty Ford clinic very drunk. I showed up at the Weight Watchers meeting full from pastrami, cheese, and burger, but comitted and ready to make major life changes.
I was looking at pictures of me, and saw how heavy I am. I'm not happy at this weight. So I'm doing something about it.
I'm amazed at the number of points I'm allotted a day. Last time, I had 26 I think. This time, I have 36. GASP I'll never lose weight. I talked to the leader, and because I'm still nursing, but not nursing a baby that is only nursed, I removed 3 points, down to 33. I wanted to remove 6 points, cut the nursing points bonus in half (nursing moms get 12 points extra) but Vince thought that was too many. We will see, if I loose at 33 I'll stay there (although I lose a point when I lose a pound because of where my weight is). I just might drop down to 30 if I don't lose. I was impressed that the leader was supportive of nursing, and did not once ask if/why I was STILL nursing. Good for her.
For now, both Vince and I are doing flex, the plan where you count points. At some future time, we may switch over to core, once we are used to eating better and not so much.
We went to the meeting together yesterday. My sister was around and watched Syd. I want to be able to go with him all the time, but am unsure if that will happen... remember that letter I wrote a while ago? I'm calling her next and see about a night meeting where children are welcome. I know Vince will be more comfortable if I'm there with him in the meetings, at least at first. When we were getting the paperwork done, a regular member meeting ended. 3 men walked out, and about 45 women. One staff member there was a male... funny he did my weigh in, and a woman did Vince's.
So we are off and running (counting). As you can see from my ticker, I have plenty to lose.
My motivations for weight loss... the leader encouraged us to put it in writing...
- I want to look better.
- I want to be able to wear more fashionable clothing.
- I want to be able to wear cute clothing found on the clearance rack.
- I want to be healthier.
- I want to feel better in my skin.
- I don't want roller coaster rides to be tight on my hips.
- I want my seat belt to fit better.
- I don't want movie seats to be tight anymore.
- I want to live longer.
- I want to eat healthier.
- I want to eat less process and fast foods.
- I don't ever want to read that "maternal habitus" (read: my fat) interfered with a ultrasound ever again.
- I want to be able to run with Sydney.
- I don't want to ever worry I won't fit into the MRI machine.
At some point in the future, once I've lost a bunch of weight, I want to try to have another baby. I want that pregnancy to be healthier than Sydney's. I can't control the IUGR, placental stuff, but I can control my weight. Somehow I avoided gestational diabetes, hypertension, and pre-eclampsia, all of which weight makes much worse.
I'm done being fat. Last time when I reached this point emotionally, it was when I realized that the fat was costing me a baby. I lost 35 pounds, and got pregnant the first cycle. I firmly believe that the weight loss let my hormones get normal enough to get pregnant. I think that next time with even less extra weight hanging around, I could have an easier or healthier pregnancy without all that weight messing with the hormones.
Last time the fat was costing me a baby. This time it could cost me being able to raise my baby, and that is just too high a price to pay for Twinkies and cookies.
3 comments:
My theory on fitting into sizes on the clearance rack: if your size isn't there, it's because it's a popular size!!! The sizes that are there (usually 2, 4, 6) are there because there aren't many people who actually ARE that size! But still, I applaud your efforts, and hope what you're doing makes you happy. Putting it out there for others to see helps with the accountability factor, I've found. Good luck!
I think it's even harder living in Utah and not being comfortable with who you are. I think I read once that Utah has the highest rate of eating disorders per capita. All those skinny, blonde girls at BYU used to drive my size 12 a$$ crazy.
Goodluck on your weight loss journey! It's a tough road, one that I can't find the strength to travel. I always say that I want to get in better shape but then I continue to sit on my tookus and do nothing about it. Hopefully WW smartens up and starts offering night classes to which you can take Syd.
Good luck to you. I'm working towards losing 80 lbs. I've actually been motivated to get out and walk plus going to the gym. I'm also joining WOW at the Aquatic center. I'm rooting for you.
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