Why my mother does not know the URL here.

I’ll get to the title topic in just a bit… First an update.

I just got back from my OB. I really like her. She said that there are no guarantees, but she is comfortable seeing us through this, and going where this goes. There are no guarantees that the baby will grow, but she measured 18 weeks 3 days today, so she has grown. Heartbeat still good, movement still good, legs still crossed so no confirmation on the gender. There is a low normal amount of amniotic fluid. She said I do need the close monitoring. I see her one-week, and then the perinatologist the next. They don’t assign patients to a perinatologist, they rotate them. There are four perinatologists who come to Ogden from the University of Utah on a rotating basis. Dr. Calm (her name I gave her) said they don’t allow a patient to be assigned to just one doctor. She said that if Dr. DH is on and there is an emergency, then I should see him, but otherwise she supports my decision not to see him. Anyway, she thinks that things are looking ok. She mentioned that with the close monitoring, if we notice that the baby has stopped growing, the amniotic fluid gets way to high or to low, or my blood pressure skyrocket, or the baby’s heart rate drops, once we hit viability (about 24 weeks, based on her weight) we will talk about delivering. If the baby starts showing distress, I’ll likely be hospitalized for close monitoing to try to steal every day of gestation we can. She said I still may end up with a healthy 40 week pregnancy, we just will watch, wait and pray. I am to continue my normal routine, ensuring plenty of rest, activity, healthy food, and water. I am also to stop googling everything. I am to call her before I google, because the googling has been stressing me out. She said I should google cats and read about them, because I’m reading tons of stuff that is just upsetting me.

So here begins my discussion on my mother. I knew when I started this blog, she would come up sooner or later. Maybe that is why no family members know the URL. They know I have one, but they don’t know how to find it. At least if they have, no one has mentioned it, and no one has started a war because of what I have wrote.

I talked to my mom for quite a while this morning. After my appointment, I called her back up to let her know what the doctor said. The talk I had with my mother this morning was reassuring, because she reminded me that she was told to abort England, my sister’s blog name, and England is doing fine. England has no birth defects. All my mom's pregnancies went over due, so she thinks that genetically that our babies just grow slow. She told me I should try to not get so much testing. I asked Dr. Calm about that, and she advised that we continue with the intense monitoring to be able to catch a problem with the baby and deliver if needed.

Now, I don’t really think that my mom likes Dr. Calm all that much. After my fun at the ER at 6 weeks, I saw Dr. Calm the next day. Vince had a test at school, so he could not come. I was on “bed rest” after the ER, so I could not drive. So my mom came and took me. I had selected Dr. Calm because she was recommended to me by my GP. Dr. Calm delivered my GP’s children. I think that is a ringing endorsement, that a female doc trusted Dr. Calm to handle her pregnancies. I don’t have to have female doctors, but I prefer them, and would really rather see a female, all things being equal.

So, my mom has met Dr. Calm. From the BEGINNING, she had a problem with Dr. Calm. She knew one of the other Ob/Gyn’s in Dr. Calm’s clinic, and wanted me to switch to him. I told her that I would see about that after the initial appointment. Well, after the initial appointment, I loved Dr. Calm. She is laid back, and is a doctor I feel I can communicate with, ask stupid questions of her after I have been googling too much, and I feel she is very knowledgeable and compassionate. Any way, my mom did not like her, and still wanted me to switch. I said no, and the subject dropped, or so I thought.

So after I tell her about the appointment news today, and the possibility of delivering early, she flipped out. She wanted to know why I would choose to have a premie. I said that this is a last resort if the baby is in distress and looks like it might die. She said that the baby should just stay in my womb. I tried to explain if it is a placental or cord problem, then staying in the womb will mean death, while having a premie means at least a chance at life. She wanted me to go find a 70 year old Ob/Gyn who does not use all this technology. She thinks that if I go to an old man, then the monitoring will stop and the problems will go away. She thinks all the problems are just because we know about this because I had the APFT test, which she thinks I should never have again. Basically, she wants me to stop seeing a doctor I trust, go find some ancient doctor not current on modern medicine, and start seeing him.

My mom also implied that I was being stupid or selfish by “choosing” to have a premie, rather than let a baby in distress remain in my womb. Basically, if the womb becomes a hostile environment, I’d rather give the baby a chance at life in the NICU, rather than let it die inside of me. Is a 24-week baby optimal, NO, but I would rather let my baby have a chance outside the womb, rather than certain death. I mean if the placenta stops working, nothing will get it started again. Outside, there is a chance that medical procedures will be able to help the baby continue to grow and develop. I want to avoid the NICU at all costs, but if that is what has to be, that is what has to be. I mean, I’m not saying have the baby at 24 weeks because of my sciatic pain. I am not taking pain medication because of the baby’s growth problems. Dr. Calm feels that these may slow things down even more, so nope to the Lortabs, even though my pain is enough to justify them.

Our call ended with her basically saying, whatever, and she had to go. It was very frustrating. I mean, I just got told there is a likelihood of a super premie being born, and my mom questions the information I have been given, and wants me to switch from a provider I trust to a provider who I don’t know. I just wanted some support. I know all 5 of her pregnancies went just fine, but mine is appearing to have concerns. I’m now high risk. Dr. Calm is not overreacting; she is monitoring closely and letting us know the options. Maybe everything would be just fine if we did not know there was a problem, but I would rather know so that we can make informed decisions. Oh, I’m not switching doctors.