Counting my blessings

Sorry for the blog strike. I have been swamped again, and honestly have had some writers block.

Update on the baby.... Looks like she is a girl! I am very excited about this. The last ultrasound on Friday, Feb 3, was not very positive other than that. Thankfully all the major organs are in place and appear to be functioning. Brain, heart, kidneys, and spine all look fine. the catch is that she does not appear to be that interested in growing. She should have measured closer to 20 weeks, 1 day, and measured 17 weeks 6 days. However the placenta, cord and cord attachment site all appear to be fine, so now we watch and wait. I really suck at watching and waiting. I googled a bunch of stuff about this yesterday and ended up sobbing to the WeeCare nurse on the phone. (WeeCare is a program offered by my health insurance company.) I go see my doctor tomorrow, and I'll bawl all over her too, I'm sure. What I read on google was very overwhelming and exhausting.

I really hated the perinatologist I saw last week. It was not the same man I saw two weeks before. He failed to introduce himself, (I still don't know his name) and was arrogant and condescending. He also wanted to know what my feelings were on termination. Ummm HELL NO. He then went on to discuss the laws of Utah and that I only have a week before I would have to travel to another state. I'm sure he was trying to do full disclosure, but he said it like an ass and I've decided to call him Doctor Dick Head as he failed to introduce himself. If I knew his name, I'd track down his email so we could all send him hate email. I am going to refuse to see him again. I saw a Dr. Clark the first time, and I liked him fine, so I'll see him. Thankfully I still have my regular OB, Julia, who is wonderful. She actually answers her own phone after hours.

So I have decided to try to be positive and hopeful, which is not my nature. By nature I am a brooder and worrier. Today I happened to think about one of my favorite hymns, Count your Blessings.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain
Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be disheartened, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Refrain

So here is a short list of my blessings.

1. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me
2. I know that Jesus died for me.
3. I know that there is life before and there is life after this life.
4. I have been blessed to have the love of a wonderful husband.
5. Vince tolerates me when I flip out over something, when I am really upset by something completely else. Example, I yelled at him about the litter box, when I am really upset about the baby.
6. I cleaned my messy bathroom yesterday and the spotlessness is wonderful.
7. I am employed at a job which mostly meets our needs and provides excellent benefits.
8. The ultrasounds at the hospital are covered 100% by insurance.
9. The baby is alive. Her heart is beating at a great rate.
10. I am now pretty sure I have felt her kick.
11. Her major organs are healthy and in place.
12. I believe in prayer and that miracles can happen today.
13. My mom's knee surgery went well.
14. My family is mostly healthy.
15. I have access to medical care.
16. I am educated. I can read, write, and do math.
17. I live in a country where I don't have to wear a veil. I live in a mostly free country.
18. I'm not a Republican.
19. 3 more years and we get a new president.
20. I have access to housing and transportation. No one in my family is going hungry or is homeless.
21. I have clean water to drink.
22. I've discovered a network of people to talk to and worry too. It is nice to not be alone.
23. I don't have to worry about my husband not having rights to our baby, as current laws protect both our rights to our child, something many do not have, especially in this state.

So there is a short list. I feel I needed to see this list and share it, and remind myself I am blessed.