Hiatus over!

Hi, I've been back for about a week. I've needed some time to screw my head back on.

Random Vacation post mortem:

1. We had a blast. It was WONDERFUL. We so needed a break.
2. Disneyland is designed to get you to overspend, which we did with gusto.
3. The never lost (GPS) feature on the rental care was a vacation saver. It was so cool. I really want one now.
4. Vince is useless on an airplane. He basically plugged into the Tv's on Jet blue and forgot about me and Sydney. I got really mad at him, and he was like what am I doing, because he is one of those people who when they put the headphones in, forget there is a world out there beyond the headphones.
5. Wicked was WONDERFUL. I want to see it again. I cried several times. Vince even liked it. It was so very moving and I could just keep typing adoring adjectives, but will stop. There will be a post dedicated to Wicked.
6. Single Rider at Disneyland California is the best thing EVER. Basically you go to the front of the line. I was in line with a sweet couple on their honeymoon. She got picked first, then the attendant came and got the groom and I and then put us in line next to each other. I hurried and went and swapped with the bride.
7. There are 2 Sheraton's within shouting distance of Disneyland. Who knew?
8. MIL will find a way to call at a time which will be most embarrassing, ie when you learn you are at the wrong Sheraton. She will then lecture you. I will post about her too.
9. It was so very nice to just be with my family. Sydney is so smart.
10. Sydney cut her first tooth on March 11, the second day we were there. Sydney is a traffic stopper, she is so dang cute. It really throws people to see someone that small sitting, etc. She loves the stroller.
11. The trip was hard on Sydney. She went on a bit of a eating strike. She lost weight on the trip. We found out the day after we got back, because she was running a VERY high fever, that Sydney had an ear infection on the way home, which would explain the constant crying the flight home.
12. NEVER eat at the IHOP right by Disneyland. A normal breakfast for 3 adults with tip was $55. That is insane, and the service was not that good. No, no one had fillet Mignon.
13. It was so nice to stay at a nice hotel.
14. It was well worth it for the upgrade to the full size car, as we had so much crap.
15. Sydney thought the Haunted Mansion was a comedy ride. She laughed the whole way through. As we went in, Vince worried that she would be scared. I told him she was too young to know it is supposed to be scary, and I was right.
16. Sydney hates things that go wosh, ie the doors on the Monorail and flushing toilets.
17. My sister is a SPOILED BRAT. She went to California the day before we came home. Initially we intended to only spend 2 days at Disney, so I offered to sell her one day at $30. (Full retail price of one day park hopper ticket $83+tax.) She really made a stink about this. I figured I was saving her $50, and the tickets were not free for us, they were part of our package. Then after 2 days we had not done all we wanted, so we wanted to go again. I'd already committed to selling her the ticket, so we ended up purchasing another one at full price ($63 for one park). I'm really upset at me for agreeing to do that. It ended up costing me about $35 to save her $50.
18. Vince wants to move to LA. I'm in the HELL NO camp on that one. I don't want to live there. I miss the ocean and the palm trees, but I have no desire to live there. Anyway, we would only be able to afford a shack in an awful neighborhood.
19. I have some great pictures and video I'll post.
20. When we were eating at an in park restaurant I said to Vince, I don't know why we never came here to eat when I was growing up. When I saw the tab, I understood. $40. Two large and very good dinners for Vince and I, a REALLY good piece of chocolate cake (really big too) and sodas. As this was a buffet style place, no tip.

I have a lot of things to post, so I'm going to get cracking.

Public Service Announcement: Re working mothers

Written in response to a PM I recieved on a BB I hang out on....

To whom it may concern:

I don't want your opinion on my working. I'm not giving my opinion on your family planning/SAHM status, why do you feel privileged to do so? We were talking about a completely unrelated subject, and you chose to bash me for being a working mom.

I had a very welcomed and longed for but unplanned pregnancy, not that this is ANY of you business. We had been planning to do intensive IUI then IVF after DH graduated from college. I'm the breadwinner right now. However, I got miraculously pregnant all by ourselves ahead of schedule.

When I saw that positive pregnancy test, I was overjoyed beyond measure. I also knew I would be a working mama. Or I could be broke and homeless with no health insurance. Or I could have aborted a miracle. Those were my three options. (And actually the third one was no where near an option. As was number 2.)

You say you are pro-life and that you would not have had children if you had to work.... again what would you have had me do in this situation? Me personally, I chose to give life, love my baby and DH, and enjoy my family. Family is first, work is a far second.

I'm so glad that your life was so planned that you did not have to work. I do have to and choose to work. I also LOVE working. My DD is very loved and very attached to me and DH. I consider that I might want to be a SAHM, but right now that is not in the cards. I think that DH and I are the best parents we can be, day care included. We did give how to raise her a second thought BTW. We read, studied, and planned. We were prepared parents, even if to you we do not appear to be, because DD was born before we were both out of college, home owners, and financially stable.

Joy does not wait for the check book to be balanced.

I refuse to let you guilt me with your claims of children are best cared for in their homes by their parents... BS! I've seen PLENTY of SAHM's who do nothing but watch TV all day. DD is in a day care where she get attention and yes LOVE. She is loved by her DCP, by the DCP's children and by the other children, and she loves them. Yes this is not a mother's love, but I believe that children need to have a loving environment no matter were they are. She gets loads of attention and love from me 16 hours of the day. She is with DCP 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Otherwise she is usally with me or DH. I've actually read a study but can't remember the link stating that SAHM's and WOHM's spend about the same amount of time with their children.

I don't go around lecturing SAHM's about how I think they should be working, as I firmly believe that every woman should have the choice to stay home if that is what she wants and can afford it. I do not believe you have any right to feel above me because our lives are very different.

I have a wonderful job which is very flexible and compatible with mothering. My situation may not seem perfect, but it is the working very well for us. Who's situation is perfect, anyway?

Oh, and if you are saying Don't be offended but...well then, you know what you are saying is offensive and judgemental.

And just in case you are wondering what she said to spark this entry... I'm pasting the relevent parts of her message...

Honestly, I do not EVER judge women for returning to work after having children because that is a very personal decision and sometimes a necessity. I planned my family for over 5 years and one of the first things that we agreed upon was that one of us would be a SAHM because I did not ever trust anybody to provide as much love and care as me or my partner. Not saying that DCP's aren't loving and nurturing, but I wanted that for my children from *ME*. Don't take offense to that (because I know many mom's would/will), but personally I feel that a child is best cared for by mommy or daddy at home. And I think there are a lot of people in this world planning families and not even giving that a 2nd thought. Again, personally, I wouldn't have even contemplated having children if I had to work. I just didn't want that for my child(ren). I am 40 and my oldest is 2. I waited until I knew that I was going to be her caregiver 24/7. But again, that's not always possible, so you have to give up some things that you normally wouldn't have had to.

Some of those lactivists make me laugh. I think the vast majority of them are probably pro-choice. So, it's ok to choose to end the life of a fetus, but it's NOT ok to feed that same baby formula? WHAT? I just have to laugh at half of those posts. Again, I'm a huge advocate for nursing your child, but I'm more of an advocate for loving your child.

Sorry to have offended you, but I call it the way I see it and so many people can't handle that (i.e. the closed thread).

Seat Belts

As you may or may not know, I'm a huge proponent of seat belts. I believe that not using a seat belt should be a primary offense, allowing law enforcement to pull you over and cite you for it.

Seat belts save lives. I'm alive because of one.

So today some co-workers and I went to lunch. We all went in a state owned mini-van, as we were also going to a meeting after. It is state law and policy that employees wear their seat belts while on the job, and after as well.

One of my co-workers did not put on her seat belt.

I asked her to. I got a "yes mommy." as she grudgingly fastened the belt. I told her that yes, I am the seat belt nazi.

See, it was not just endangering her to not be wearing her seatbelt. It was endangering all of us in the car because if we are in an accident, she then goes flying around the car, hitting others.

I am like, put on your damn seat belt. It's the rules and you should not have to be reminded.

Banned Books

I got this idea from Faith and Trista.... Lets talk about banned books I've read.....

I have a REAL problem with censorship. Just because someone writes it, that does not mean you have to read it. I also, as a parent, have the right to chose what Sydney reads until she is mature enough to handle it, to understand it. As a parent, this is not censorship, rather guidance. I will be giving her a copy of Are you there God, it's me Margret when she is about 11.

Plus, I know that as a parent who was a child, she has access to the school and public library. I'd rather her be open with me about what books she is reading, rather than hide them as I did. My mom was appalled to find Killer Clown in the pile to go back, but by then I had read it. I was smart enough to know she would object so I hid it when I checked it out and took it to school and read it there. BTW, this was on the recommendation of my 8th grade history teacher. (Side note, WHAT was he thinking recommending that book to an 8th grader. High school junior or senior, sure, but an 8th grader)

A prime example of this would be the new James Cameron "documentary" where he claims to find the bones of Jesus. As a Christian, I don't believe that is possible as I believe Jesus was resurrected. And FTR, James Cameron may have produced one of my all time favorite movies, Titanic natch, but I don't see him as a spiritual leader, and what ever he says won't shake my faith one bit. I however support his right to say what he wishes, but I chose not to watch the show.

In honor of my going and seeing the play, I just bought Wicked the book, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who think that book belongs on here.

From http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/100mostfrequently.htm

I've bold-ed the one's I've read and my commentary on selected books is blue. The ones I've never heard of are green.

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain Funny how this banned book was mandatory reading in high school. Much more depth to this story than Tom Sawyer.
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck No, but I read Grapes of Wrath
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling I can't believe that anyone tried to ban Harry. I've read the entire series at least twice, and read books 1-6 again in order while on bed rest. I can tell you exactly what I will be doing on July 13 and July 21.
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier Another banned book which was required reading.
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger I know something is lacking in my education that I have not read this book.
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine I used to read these like crazy when I was in Junior High.
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker Does seeing the movie count?
19. Sex by Madonna Flipped through a copy that a friend's older brother bought... We did this hidden and in secret. The same woman who made this book now complains her daughter wears too tight jeans. Wendy shakes her head.
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous Does reading the Q&A on the website count?
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak You're kidding me, right? Someone tried to ban a book by the author of Where the Wild Things Are? Wendy makes a mental note to check this book out at Barnes and Noble and likely buy it for Sydney.
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl My mom read this book aloud to us after we saw the movie The Witches and my brother loved it.
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume I was read this book in elementary school, and read most of her books.
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam Why do I believe this is a banned book because W stands for Witch? People sure try to ban things about witches.
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood This book is on my list of books to read. I have wanted to read it since I saw the movie of the same name... Very scary movie.
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras AAAKKK Puberty. It's Dirty, lets hide from it and her monthlies will never appear. Remember girls, it's called Men Stru Ation... That last sentence is a reference to a book on this list... 10 points if you are the first one to guess which book.
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Another banned book which was required reading. I loved this book and have read it many times, years and years ago. I want a daughter named Scout.
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison I'm bolding this, even though I did not finish it. I had a very hard time getting into the book and plowed through about 100 pages before I gave up.
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Another required reading banned book. I remember it moving me to tears. I really should read this one again.
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein MIL bought this one for Sydney. My only complaint is that it does not have the "Sick" poem where the character goes "I'm sick today.... What do you mean, it's Saturday? I'm going outside to play." I guess I'll get the other book. I was read this book aloud by teachers and my mother.
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) Read plenty of her other books, but I don't recall reading these... those dang witches. Gotta ban them.
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl Why would they ban this book? I don't remember any witches or sex?
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell Check this one out or purchase with a credit card... get a visit from the FBI. ;)
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest After the movie also on my I should read this list.
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume I've read this one countless times. I wanted my period to come. I wanted to see pads with a belt and hooks. I wanted a better relationship with my mom.
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding Another required reading banned book. Poor Piggy.
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Hey everyone.... I'm having so much fun packing and cleaning! I think I'll be nice and let you come and pack for me!
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford Well, there are adult images drawn into the pictures... plenty of T&A in those drawings. Still a fun way to spend some time. I HATED the page where they were all Waldos and you had to find the only one which was drawn correctly.
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman My mom has a copy of this book. She would read it to us. I just thought it was a cute book until I grew up. The book is in her living room.
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell I was read this book by teachers and my mom. Oh those subversive second grade teachers.
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Wow this list makes me want to go buy some books.

Preparations...

Here is a short list of things which must be accomplished before we leave for LA...

ASAP:

1. Change return air DONE!!!
2. Change car rental Got a great deal though Hotwire.

Immediate:

1. Find out how to transport frozen breast milk... ie what type of ice packs I can use Answer after 15 minutes on hold: See through gel type packs
2. Get a neighbor to feed the cats.
3. Pump and additional 4-8 ounces for the grand total of 20 which I wish to leave with our friends watching Sydney for the whole day. I have 11 ounces now!
4. Buy Imax tickets to guarantee entrance to Star Wars exhibit.
5. Call credit union to tell them we are going on vacation so they don't freeze our cards like last time.

Find, organize, and charge the following electronic devices and their cords - clearning memory as needed:

1. Camcorder
2. Camera
3. Ipods (update playlists)
4. Trouble shoot DVD drive on Vince's laptop (shows as working fine, won't play.)
5. Laptop
6. Cell phones - Decide if we are switching service before or after we go. No, I'm too busy.
7. Install camera and editing footage onto laptop.
8. Set DVD player to record 24
9. Breast pump and accessories

Figure out by Thursday:

1. What type of clothes to pack - winter or spring?
2. How many clothes we need to purchase
3. Go clothes shopping on Wednesday
4. Do we need more luggage?
5. What are we using for carryons/bags at parks
6. Buy locks to lock diaper bag to stroller and stroller to fence. DH is worried about them getting stolen.
7. Buy new gel type clear ice packs.

Clean:

1. Laundry
2. kitchen
3. Living room
4. downstairs bathroom
5. Empty trash cans and fridge of spoilage on Friday night.

Work:

1. Logs must be current (my own rule, I am 3 months behind)
2. PCP's scheduled
3. Office cleaned.

Pack:

1. Electronic gear
2. clothes for 3.
3. personal care items
4. dressy outfit for both DH and I
5. Figure out bags for car seat/stroller and checking these. We are gate checking these. Sydney HATES the car seat, so I imagine that we will use the stroller to carry the car seat while I wear her. We do have a travel system, which is very nice. I read to never check the car seat with your luggage because if it gets delayed you are stuck at the airport with no carseat. If you gate check it, the you have the best chance of it actually making your flight.

Just looking at this list, I am overwhelmed.

I hate traveling with the whole damn house, but I see no other options. We will go from Saturday to Wednesday am with no access to laundry. I'm thinking I need at least 6 (maybe 8) outfits for baby girl.

Defy Gravity!

Guess what is playing in Los Angeles....


It only opened February 21, 2007....

I'm going March 13, 2007.

We are sitting in very good seats.... and paying a pretty penny for them too!!! I was able to get tickets from Ticketmaster, so we at least I did not pay scalper prices. (But I was ready to pay that once I realized it was playing in LA.)

Figured it out??? Of course you have, my readers are very smart!!!!!

I get to see Wicked. I'm so very excited. I cannot wait. I have wanted to see this play so very bad. I so love the story and so love the music.

Yes, Vince is coming, but I can't help but think that was a waste of $100. I'm really thinking of taking our friend in LA who will be watching Sydney and leaving him with the baby. Hopefully he will like the story. I mean, a play CANNOT be that successful with only women and gay men fans? Right???

I'm sleepy.

I have more readers!!!! Yippee and welcome. All the nice comments got me thinking.... I should post!

I took Sydney yesterday to get her Synagis shot. ($150 + $20 copay to doc.) She weighs 11 pounds 13 ounces. She has gained 9 pounds in 9 months, give or take. She is getting taller and gaining some chunk. I'll post some new pictures soon. She has two teeth which have not popped out yet. I'll be glad when they do. I'm very glad to see she is gaining weight. I'm having supply problems, and I was worried about her weight. The ped said he thinks her weight gain is excellent.

ROTC is just kicking Vince's butt. He is trying to do a good job, but they keep changing the rules on him. He is trying to do his OPORD, but they seem to be expecting A LOT more from him than everyone else. If you compare what they want from him to what they accepted last year and OPORDS from other cadets this semester, his is way more detailed. I know because he showed me them from the web site. They have his confidence shattered and he is so depressed. Someone there has been implying that if he does not succeed in the ROTC program, that makes him a failure, in all aspects of his life. He keeps saying what a lousy father and husband he is. I know this is coming from ROTC. (They also seem to feel that his difficulties at ROTC are because of marital problems. They wanted me to come in and talk... I refused, because then I WOULD give them a piece of my mind, which would not help Vince.)I'm really trying to be balanced and not take Vince's side and defend him, as I know there have been times he could have worked harder, done better, etc. I do not believe this is one of those times. The cadre keep telling him to ask for help, but then expect him to have the solution already figured out, so why ask for help? He is getting nothing but negative criticism from them. Could they throw him a freaking bone and say this is better than the last one, because it is?

I'm very worried about him. He seems so defeated, so downtrodden upon. I'm very unhappy at whomever is insinuating that if he fails at the ROTC program that makes him a bad husband and father. ROTC is school, family is family. If you have to be perfect in your entire life to be a good spouse/parent, we are ALL screwed. Hell, I've been fired twice. Does that fact alone make me a bad wife? I don't think so. I think that your job performance is a part of you as a spouse/ parent, but only as far as you are trying, providing for the needs, and that the job does not take over your life. ROTC has taken over his life. His other classes are suffering, again, because of the demands of ROTC.

I wish I could just make this easier on him, but I can't. He is so sad. He is staying up all hours trying to please them. I've been staying up too to try to help, and am exhausted. I'm also going through an insomnia phase right now. These happen to me, and I usually take an ambien for a couple of days to break the cycle. The problem with that is Sydney nurses all night. We are co-sleeping, and you really should not co-sleep and take sedatives. I'm too afraid I'll roll over and kill her to take an ambien. I took 5mg while pregnant, as I had an insomnia spell then. They did not drug me that bad, but I took 10mg while in the hospital when I was very upset and exhausted, and it drugged me up so much, I some how out both contact lenses in the same well.

I'm really worried about our vacation now. I'm worried Vince will not be able to relax and we will have a nightmare of a time. He wants to bring homework. I think he needs a complete get away. He will have 4 days after we get back to study.

Exposed

I'm having a hard time posting. I have tons to say, but after my drive by nastiness, I feel very vunerable. I've always known this is out there on the web, but this is the first time that I've dealt with anyone being so hurtful. In fact, up until that poster, my only kinda negative post was someone who disagreed with me about re-naming Hill Airforce Base. That was not a big deal, this one is. I know that others have been attacked more personally than I, but this was my first time.

Anon I'm reclaiming myself from you. You don't get to win. Your nastiness will not prevail. I'm considering removing your post because I can. Anyone but the anon person, should I remove the post?

Last night I attended an infant massage class. The presenter went around the room and had the moms tell their birth stories. I went last because of where I was sitting. I was the only women in the room who had a scheduled c-section, preemie, nicu stay. That's a good thing, I guess but I felt very alone. Other women fought against their c-sections, went into labor. I scheduled mine. The presenter was trying to be sensitive, but she kept talking about how the baby being squished down the birth canal is good for them. She is right, but I just felt left out.

One other mom there talked about how positive her birth was, but that breast feeding did not work out. She almost started crying. I had talked to her prior to her birth about nursing and she had seemed very excited about it. I was suprised when I saw her formula feeding. I will admit I had been a bit judgemental about that, until I heard her say that she was very dissappointed that nursing had not worked out. My heart ached for her.

Changes in comment policy

You may or may not have noticed that I have changed the comment policy on my blog.

I'm sorry, but you will now have to be a member of the blogger community and log on to comment. You will have to sign your user name.

I don't want to do this, but my blog was just hit with a very nasty comment, left anon of course.

It's attached to my Senseless Horror post.

I have no problems with disagreement. I have a problem with people leaving spiteful and hurtful comments and me not have a way to respond to them. I can't go email you. I can't even go leave a nasty message on their blog.

I'm a big believer in accountability. I ALWAYS sign my name, or post that I'm too lazy to sign in, on people who have not switched to the new blogger, and post my user name there.

BTW, to the person who posted that hurtful message. I'm so glad that you are perfect. I would rather not be homeless and hungry. I work so we have a home, food and health insurance. Are you a perfect parent? I work because I can, and I will not apologize for enjoying my work. I went to college so I could get a good job where my labor matters. I'd love to be a SAHM, but that is not in the cards right now, and frankly I'm not ever sure it will be. I REFUSE to become my mom, 50 something with NO retirement. I'm vested in my employers pension with over 5 figures in my 401K. Anon poster, what are your plans for the future?

I do care for my miracle daughter. I do love her. So what if I work? Do you judge my husband for going to college?

I'm not gross. I'm stuck between being self-sufficient or being on welfare. As an educated able bodied American, I chose to go to work and earn a living, not suck off the system. Anonymous poster.... Are you one of those family's with a SAHM who is on food stamps, housing assistance, getting food from the food bank, getting aid from the church when both parents have the ability to be gainfully employed and self supporting but you stay home rather than go to work to take care of your own family and prove a point? Did daddy write you a big check? Do you work? Not everyone can make it on one income. Not everyone can stay home.

Anon poster, you are an ass. If you are going to post something like that, be an adult and sign your name. Thanks for posting that, you coward who does not feel the need to identify yourself.

I love my daughter very much. My going to work provides for her physical needs. If I stayed home, I would be very irresponsible and stressed out, as I'd have NO money. I'm the breadwinner. Thanks for the drive by shooting.

HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY LOVE FOR MY DAUGHTER??? I'm well aware there is a loud mouthed talk show host who shall not be named because she spreads hate who states day care is abusive and that WOHM's are evil. I'm not evil. DD is NOT abused at her day care. Real life is more than a 30 second phone call where the host passes judgement and hate based on the little information she allows the caller to give.

Who do you think you are to post something a nasty as that on my space? Who appointed you judge of my parenting skills based on ONE aspect of how I mother, my working out of the home?

My husband also wants me to let you know that he thinks you're an ass and a coward.

Anon poster.... If you wish to discuss this further, please have the intestinal fortitude and sign your name.

Oh, BTW, most of my know readers are women who are employed. Most work out of the home. I think, anon poster, you wandered into the hornets nest when you chose this blog to post your spite.

Senseless Horror

Last night, while I was watching Jeopardy, the station broke into the show. And I have not exhaled since.

Yesterday, a mad man walked into a local mall. For some reason, he felt that taking a shot gun with a pistol grip, lots of ammo, and the proceeding to shot innocent people was a grand idea.

5 innocent people killed. 4 seriously wounded. One off duty hero interrupted his dinner to stop the rampage. He will live with that for the rest of his life, as will the other hundreds of people in the mall last night. They will have to live with seeing the shooter, the bodies, the broken glass the blood. They will live with the smells of gun fire. They will live with the sounds of screams and shotgun blasts. They will live with the fear, fear which drove unsung heroes to risk themselves to lower the grates of their stores to try to protect others.

They were there to have dinner, go shopping, or to go to work. They expected to be safe.

How many times have I gone to a mall to shop or eat, and expect to be safe? Will I ever feel safe again?

I was not there. I was planning on having lunch there on Wednesday. I have an all day training in Salt Lake, and my co-workers and I had discussed how yummy Spaghetti Factory would be.

This is a mall I have been to many times. I played in a violin concert there in elementary school. Once we could drive, heading down to the Spaghetti Factory and shopping at Trolley Square was a fun treat for my friends and I. It was so fun to get to drive down to the big city from tiny Brigham City.

We have been there to celebrate. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe for a reunion meal after Vince had been gone on military training. We had just gotten engaged and were disgustingly in love. We went to the Hard Rock again with friends to celebrate my graduation from college.

When Vince's brother was in the ICU at the UofU hospital, depending on the route you take, Trolley Square is on the way. I stopped in there many times during those months of struggle for some yummy candy, window shopping, and retail therapy. I'd bop into the Bath and Body Works to try a new lotion. I'd sit in the massage chairs at the Sharper Image, and snicker about Samantha from Sex and the City and her purchase from the Sharper Image. I'd dream of being skinny and rich enough to buy something from the Banana Republic. When we lived in Salt Lake, we would go eat at Tucci's, an Italian restaurant across the street from Trolley Square, and then we would walk across the street for a movie or window shopping. I have a lot of pleasant memories associated with Trolley Square.

Last night, I heard several news reports say over and over that "this is not supposed to happen here?" I ask where is this sort of tragedy and carnage supposed to happen, anyway? Littleton, Colorado? Los Angeles, California? New York City? Basra? Baghdad? Jerusalem? Darfur? Where on earth is this mayhem supposed to happen? I honestly can't think of a place it is supposed to happen. I can think of many, many places it does happen, but no where it should happen.

It is shocking to see the video on TV. I've been there. When they talk about locations, I've eaten there, shopped there, walked down those hallways. It is gut retching to see familiar places involved in a tragedy such as this. I've seen this sort of thing hundreds of times on TV, but never somewhere so familiar and close to my heart.

I cannot imagine being there. What if I had been there with Sydney? I would die for her, no question about it. I would kill to protect her. I feel so very helpless to protect her from the violence and hatred that exist in this world.

I'm having a hard time dealing with this. It was hard to come to work today. I had to leave Sydney at day care, and that was hard as well. I just want to take my little family and stay safe in our home. Only, I had nightmares last night, and I kept worrying armed gun men were going to bust into the sanctuary which is my home.

Like Trista, I feel like I'm talking out of my ass. I'm trying to process this nightmare. It is hard to imagine someone actually shooting up a place I know and a place where I felt very safe.

I want my security back.

Look what I found!!!

So for the total nerd that I am, I discovered this exhibit which will be showing while we are in LA.

We get to see the traveling Star Wars museum show!!!! WOOOT WOOT!!!

Yeah, I bought IMAX tickets which guarantees entrance to this exhibit.

I can't wair to show Vince. He will be even more excited about it than I am.

For Mama Moose

Mama Moose is a poster on the alternative BB where I hang out.

For some reason, Myspace removed pictures of her nursing her baby, and she has been harassed on a separate BB for having nursing pictures in her signature. In support of her, a "virtual" nurse in has been declared. To particiapte in a nurse in, and to show support, I'm posting pictures of Sydney nursing. I took them myself.

For me, this pictures are an example of a miracle. After her birth, having to EP, her very difficult time learning to eat, and her very high palate, the fact that Syndey nurses is a miracle. She has thrived on nursing. Plus, as I'm basically a lazy person, nursing her at home has made life much easier on me.

More on home birthing

Today that bill passed out of committee

I found The Senate Site (The unfofficial voice of the Utah majority) where there is an interview with Sen. Dayton about the proposed midwife restrictions. I posted this comment...

I too am outraged at this bill. I am the mom to a baby girl born at 34 weeks, weighing 2 pounds 13 ounces, by C-section.
I believe in freedom, less government, and less regulation.

I am amazed that because of conditions specific to that pregnancy I will not be able to home birth. Even if my next pregnancy were to be determined to be a healthy and normal pregnancy, I would not be allowed to home birth as I have a prior c-section, premature birth, and a small baby.

For the record, I would never choose a homebirth for myself, however I am a strong supporter of those who wish to birth at home. I want my daughter to have the ability to chose where she wants to birth, at her home or at the hospital. I also want her to be able to have a trained attendant at that birth, and I feel that this bill will make midwifery so restricted a woman will have to chose between birthing unassisted or birthing in a hospital.

I listened to the interview with Sen. Dayton. She makes the point that family doctors have guidelines on when to refer/consult HOWEVER this is not written into Utah State statute. These guidelines are set as she stated by governing bodies over the doctors. Is this bill the start of turning all governing bodies rules into law? In the future will my OB next have to refer me to a specialist solely because they law requires her too?

I am opposed to this bill as I feel it is one more regulation over the citizens of Utah. I want less government intrusion into my life not more. The original bill created lawful requirements for being a midwife. I fully believe that trained and educated people can make the correct decision. Some of the proposed restrictions on home birth are currently blocked by the DOH rules over midwives.

There are many situations where a home birth would be irresponsible, and I feel the DOH and DOPL rules do a fine job of covering these. It appears to me that the guidelines make nearly all pregnancies "not normal". One of the beliefs of midwifery is that pregnancy is a normal process not an illness or disease. I took an informal poll in my office, all the women would have been risked out of home birthing at some point because of a condition which arose in their pregnancies, mainly the upper weight at birth.

I feel this bill is unneeded and intrusive.

The tale of the bathroom sinks at work.

So, there is a bathroom here at work.

And the bathroom has two sinks in it.

Whomever selected the sinks did not purchase faucets which match, meaning the the angle at which the faucet sends out the water and the way the water meets the sink usually causes the user to get soaked. They also selected those automatic faucets, which while I the germaphobe, appreciate the lack of touching, the user has no control of water speed, flow or temperature. While there is hot water service to the building, I don't know where it goes, because it does not get to the bathroom faucets. The water is usually freezing, and used to come out with a lot of pressure and force.

Someone decided to "fix" this. Now one faucet comes out slower, but with so little pressure that the faucet is like drip, drip, drip. It is nearly impossible to get enough water pressure to hose the soap bubbles off of your hands. The other faucet also has low flow, but because of some trick of nature, comes out with a lot of speed and pressure, meaning that it feels like little needles are being shot into your skin. Not a pleasant feeling. On the plus side, your clothing no longer gets soaked.

With all the resources available to my very large employer, is it impossible to have a happy medium? I would like a faucet where it neither soaks my shirt nor feels like the water is cutting my skin.

That's all for today. Nothing earth shattering, I'm afraid.

What more do you want from the mother of a teething baby who decided that night time is the best time to express her unhappiness about that?

Utah attempting to gut Lay Midwife law.

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_5166202

Orem Republican Sen. Margaret Dayton, one of the most vocal opponents of legislation adopted in 2005 that allowed midwives to legally deliver babies at home, is sponsoring a bill intended to define a "normal pregnancy." ... Dayton was a labor and delivery nurse for five years. And her husband is a retired obstetrician. She says she took her list from a doctor's list of "high-risk" pregnancies.

Bill is located at http://le.utah.gov/~2007/bills/sbillint/sb0243.htm

Here is a jewel of a quote from Sen. Dayton

"People should have the choice: from the highest-end obstetrician to staying home alone in the dark in the bathroom. All the choices are not equal," said Dayton, who introduced her bill Monday. "We need to go back and make some definition of what we have granted."

The direct entry bill finally allowed something BETWEEN high end OB care and being alone in the bathroom. The quote just shows this Senator's anti-home birth bias loud and clear. There are very definitive rules listed by DOPL, and this is an attempt to make rules law, and to expand the restrictions. Current rules, not law, are listed here. Current law is here.

What will risk a woman out?

From the proposed bill

(iv) excludes from the practice of Direct-entry midwifery a pregnancy that involves:
(A) pulmonary disease, renal disease, chronic or active hepatic disease, endocrine disease, neurological disease, a significant autoimmune disease, GBS disease, or isoimmunization;
(B) deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolus;
(C) a significant hematological disorder or coagulopathy;
(D) hypertension;
(E) diabetes mellitus;
(F) a family history of a serious genetic disorder that may affect the current pregnancy;
(G) a history of neonatal infection, cerclage or incompetent cervix, an infant below 2,500 grams or above 4,000 grams, a preterm birth of 36 weeks or less, postpartum hemorrhage requiring transfusion, three or more consecutive miscarriages, a miscarriage after 14 weeks, or a stillborn;
(H) a prior myomectomy, hysterotomy, or c-section;
(I) current drug addition or abuse;
(J) positive HIV antibody or AIDS;
(K) any condition, disease, or illness that would disqualify a certified nurse midwife, licensed under Chapter 44a, Nurse Midwife Practice Act, from delivering a child without assistance under the protocols of two or more general acute hospitals in Utah; or
(L) any other condition that may present an unreasonable risk of harm to a
pregnant woman or unborn child.

I've bolded things which would risk me out, even with a healthy pregnancy. I actually would have been risked out from the begining of my first pregnancy as I had prior uterine surgery.


While I have NO desire to VBAC, I'm incensed that a prior c/s alone is cause to risk one out of midwife care. I'm also angry that just because I had one high risk pregnancy, that reason alone risks me out of midwife care, even if my current pregnancy is going fine. And even though my sister may have had a problem that does not mean I will. The "any condition" is so vauge to make it impossible for a DEM to determine if she can actually see this client and maintain her license.

Utah Midwives Association Outgoing President Tara Tulley said Dayton's bill
would end up requiring 96 percent of the midwives' clients to go to a doctor or
certified nurse midwife, effectively ending home delivery. "They're trying to
eliminate our practice," Tulley said.

and

But Utah Midwives Association President Jules Johnston said Dayton has gone
overboard. "If they sneeze, they're risked out."

The article says that there were 96 hb, with 9 transfers and 2 c/s. That is a transfer rate of 9% and a 2% c/s rate. There is no mention in the article of any complications during the transfers or any one case which would cause this representive to propose this, other than her husband's prior occupation and her opposition to the law which allowed direct entry midwives anyway, which allowed women to home birth in Utah with help.

Reports on Utah home birth stats are http://www.dopl.utah.gov/licensing/de_midwife_outcomes.pdf and http://health.utah.gov/opha/publications/hsu/06Dec_HomeBirth.pdf

Excited

I am so very beyond excited about vacation!!!! I made and advent calendar of sorts on my office door. It is out of blue postits. I'll post a pic once I bring a camera to work. So yeah, I'm excited. Usually I do a count down on a big calendar on my office wall, and cross out the days, but we did not get those this year, so I made my own count down clock.

Sydney got exposed to RSV yesterday at day care. Praise the Lord she got her Synagys last week. She should be covered. The thing about the Synagys is it does not prevent RSV, but it lessens it. If she does get RSV, hopefully it will be mild. I'm still VERY worried about this. She seems fine today.

We are co-sleeping, not because we are really into the beliefs about the benefits of co-sleeping, but rather because it is a way for us all to get sleep. (I believe in the benefits, but Vince is only sold on the idea that this means sleep.) Lately we have been struggling with this a bit. We had been sleeping with me in the middle, Sydney on the outside with her pillow designed for this to keep her from falling out of bed. Then she fell out of bed, so into the middle she went. (Once I moved her to the other side of me, and she fell out of bed before she even had a chance to sweat a wet spot from her head, she has a very sweaty head.) Vince thought that we might both have more room if we slept backwards, with his head by my feet and vice versa. I was not too keen on this because I'd rather wake up to his face, not his feet.

Neither of us know why, but we both woke up at the same time last night. Sydney had somehow wiggled sideways and across our queen bed, and was about to fall head first off Vince's side. She was asleep. I have no idea how she did this. She so far does not crawl. She really wants to crawl and catch the cat, but she does not. I tried teaching her yesterday. So the backwards thing is a no-go, and we are back to being a bit craped. I really wish she did not need to nurse all night, except when she is working on falling out of bed. My back is cramped from being on my side all night.

So far she has fallen out of bed 3 times. Once while I was getting ready to go, and twice at night. It is very scary and I really feel like a dumb parent when that happens.

Can I just SCREAM at Vince for a minute. Thanks. I've been talking vacation for 2 weeks now. He knew when we were going. So last night, I'M ON THE PHONE WITH JET BLUE to book the non-refundable air and the car, and Vince says "I think that is drill." !#%^^**(&^^%$$%^&*** (Insert swear word of your choice here.) So I hang up with Jet Blue and we talk. He hopefully can reschedule (RST) the drill. I went ahead and booked the hotel as it is refundable with a fee. Hopefully he will get the word back soon on RST. I'm just like "What part of can you go do you not understand?" and " Why in the hell did you not check your drill schedule when we started talking about this weeks ago?"

Hello again

I tried to post last week, and my post got eaten. So in reward, haha, you will get a post filled with grammar errors. Sorry.

Sydney finally got her third Synagis shot last week. She is sitting up and doing wonderful. We are so very blessed. She weighs over 11 pounds. I mentioned to my mom that she is getting big, and my mom was like you are crazy. Of course, my mom's largest baby weighed 10 pounds 11 ounces at birth. What I meant was that my baby is growing up. She is sitting. She reaches for things she wants. She is showing preference for people. She leans toward who she wants. She is getting much bigger than the tiny baby I birthed.

Oh, and contrary to the anti-c/s crowd, I did birth my baby. I gave birth. I may never have felt a single contraction, but I gave birth, same as women who go it no drugs. That particular point irks me no end. I hang out at an "alternative" online BB, and there are some women on there with views on prenatal care who terrify me. Have a home birth, I don't care, but don't judge me my c/s and healthy baby. And don't judge why I have no interest in a VBAC. You have not walked in my shoes. Why is it ok for them to judge my c/s but not ok for me to judge their complete avoidance of prenatal care, just because ALL ob's are SOB's ya know? Go ahead, have your HBA2C (home birth after 2 c/s) for all I care, don't judge my choices. One poster posted that she was upset because a client of hers, she is a doula, had a scheduled c/s. She posted "she had the baby uh... removed." No, I gave birth. My baby was not removed. Tumors are removed, babies are birthed. I really feel something is broken in me for having NO desire to have a VBAC. The thought terrifies me. The thought of a scheduled c/s is comforting. It angers me when I read about access to a VBAC being restricted because of insurance, and I'm supportive of women who want to VBAC, I have no interest in it. Rant over.

Why does my husband think he deserves a medal whenever he changes Sydney's diapers? If I remember correctly, he is equally responsible for her being here. It's like he is doing me a favor or something. His need to be super protective of her is getting on my nerves. I KNOW this is NICU related, but every little thing makes him jump up, almost panicked. REALLY. Last night she was crying because she wanted to be fed. He asks me what he should do. She wants solids, I already tried nursing her. I'm like feed her damn it. I'm doing the taxes. He got all mad, and I was like She is your daughter too. I'm really sick of Sydney seeming to be my project, and he is the helper. If he picks her up from day care, he is doing me a favor. If he feeds her, he is helping me out. I'm trying to empower him to care more for her and not step in at every little thing. Sometimes he makes me want to scream.

We are hoping to go on vacation in March, to Disneyland. I keep getting asked if we are taking the baby.... Hello??? What part of FAMILY vacation do you not understand? Sure, it would be easier without her, but then I would miss seeing her eyes when we take her on Its a Small World. She won't remember the details, but she will remember being with her parents, and we will remember the time we all spent together. So what if we ride the trill rides alone as we swap the baby? Who really cares? I don't believe I do a lot of bonding while on the Indiana Jones ride. Come on. Thrill rides are essentially a solitary activity, shared among strangers. Plus, as I'm still nursing, I'd either have to wean (That's a dumb reason to wean, IMNSHO) or pump. No vacation is a chance to not pump. Plus, I don't think I could be away from her that long, I would miss her so, and so would Vince. I have so little time with her, that when I use leave, I really want to be with her, and with Vince, as a family. All together. Yes, I know this means hauling a car seat and stroller to California. Oh well.

I'm so excited about this. Vince and I have not had a real vacation for 4 years. (Mesquite and Bear Lake don't count.) We are flying, renting a car, and staying at a hotel. We will be there 4 nights but because our plane gets there early and leaves late, we will have 5 full days there. We will do Disneyland for 3 days, Knotts Berry Farm for one, and have a free day to go to the beach and go see friends. I'm counting down.

Vince currently has orders to be gone August-October, and then November to January. Yup, looks like he will be gone for Christmas. Shit. I KNOW this is a part of military life, but that does not mean I have to be celebrating right now. Still sucks, expected or not.

For Trista.... Basically I've been wearing one pair of shoes.... Black Loafers I bought at Target. Just like these, only the toes on mine are all scuffed.

Crikey, what a life

Last night, the Discovery Channel showed the last documentary that Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, filmed. They also showed several episodes of the TV show. It was a very moving night of television. Steve lived his life with such joy and enthusiasm. They showed one episode where he went to Antarctica and he was able to swim with penguins and then humpback whales. He was so enthusiastic, you almost forget he was floating on an iceberg. He tried sliding down the hill like the penguin. He talked about the circle of life, how the bigger animals eat the little ones, but the little ones are able to get some protection. A elephant seal tried to chase him, and he laughingly told it "I'm a land mammal, you are not going to catch me." after calling it naughty and gorgeous.

I so admire his enthusiasm for life. He found something to be passionate about in everything. Even when he was talking about a whaling plant as a shame of history, he was excited that the volcano was reclaiming the land.

I hugged Vince and Sydney tighter last night. There are no guarantees. Princess Diana died in a car accident. Ronald Regan got Alzheimer's. Eva Peron had ovarian cancer. Steve was killed by a sting ray, in an atmosphere much safer than a lot of things he did in his life, like chase snakes. Life is fragile. The man who held cobras and green mambas in his hand, wrestled with the largest crocs on the planet, and narrated for us at home the whole time was killed while swimming with an animal known for being peaceful and safe.

He seemed to be someone who feel in head first. He loved with all his heart. He loved his family. He loved his animals. He loved life.

One episode they showed was first shown in 2004, called Confessions of the Crocodile Hunter. It had very candid interviews with Steve, Terri, and other family members. It talked about his pain at the death of his mom. Steve talked about Teri nursing baby Bob. They went into the truth behind the "baby Bob incident." It showed clips of Terri giving birth to baby Bob. While they were wheeling her into the hospital, the narrator said something like "after several strict conception procedures" about the pregnancy. Makes me wonder.... Did the Irwin's deal with infertility? Bindi was born in 1998, baby Bob 2003. It makes me sad when I hear of anyone having infertility problems, as I know the pain. I tried googling and found nothing. I hope they did not have this trial, but I'd bet good money they did. How sad for them, and for everyone else who deals with this burden.

This adds a layer of substance, depth, and humanity to Steve and Teri.

Rest in Peace Steve, the world is a better place because you were here. Thank you for showing me the good side of crocs and snakes. I will try to find my passion and live every day to the fullest.

Teri, Bindi, Bob, baby Bob, and Wes my deepest condolences on the loss of someone you love so much. It must be very hard to lose someone with as much presence as Steve. I miss him and I never met him. I cannot imagine your pain.

Unsolicited Parenting advice

Why is it that people seem to have the need to give unsolicited parenting advice? Am I doing such a bad job that I scream I need help with this? Is there a sign I can't see saying that I'm such a bad mom my baby is about to die?

I think I'm doing a good job at this. Sydney's pediatrician tells us how good she looks. R, Sydney's day care provider, tells me how happy and well adjusted my baby is. Sydney wears clean clothing appropriate for the weather, has had a bath within the last 48 hours (every day dries out her skin), always rides in her car seat. Her cries are attended to in a fairly quick manner, I breast feed her at will, we read to her daily, we have her involved in our daily lives, etc. She is growing, gaining weight, developing, is happy, has bright inquisitive eyes, and is very loved. I think she is doing fine.

HOWEVER, because I can't seem to get her to sleep in her own bed, you would think I'm the world's worse mom, EVER. My mom thinks I should get Ferber and let her cry it out. Frankly, no judgement on anyone who did this, I think CIO is bad, bad, bad. My MIL thinks I should play her Mozart and that will help her sleep in her own bed. I can't hear her cry and not do something about it. Great one more thing I should be doing that I'm not. Sydney listens to classical music when I'm in the mood for it while we drive. Sometimes we listen to Shakira or the Black Eyed Peas. Sometimes we listen to talk radio. Sometimes I just listen to her talk. Johnny Cash has a very calming effect on her, so we listen to the man in black on a fairly regular basis. She's been exposed to Elvis, Kenny Rogers, Celine Dion, Usher and all the other eclectic mix which resides on my Ipod. There is plenty of Mozart, Beethoven, Handel, and Vivaldi on there. I believe there are 4 or 5 MoTab cd's on there. So now because I don't listen to Mozart 24/7, I'm sorta neglectful, or as my MIL said "she should listen to more of that. I'll get you a CD." No please don't get me a CD because I have versions I like and get uppity when something like Beethoven's majestic 9th symphony is performed badly. Music snob yes I am.

I'm not going around wearing a sign saying "We co-sleep and I'm begging for advice from anyone and everyone." I really try to keep it on the down low that this is going on. It seems that EVERYONE thinks that how the baby sleeps is a good judge of how you mother, so it seems everyone asks about this. I try to hem and haw about this, but no, she does not sleep though the night. The only way I know how to get Sydney to sleep is to nurse her to sleep. She like to nurse on and off during the night. I don't have a problem with this. I'm away from her all day, I think having her next to me all night is a good way to reconnect and bond with her. Plus she has gotten good at finding my nipple without my help, so sometimes I don't even have to wake up. It feels very nice to know she is right next to me, just fine.

I just want to scream "If this is a problem for you, do what works for your family. This is what is working for mine, and I don't need any help with it. "

All this advice makes me question how I'm mothering. It makes me worry that I am doing something wrong. I am trying to go with the flow and follow Sydney's lead. We do what is working for us. This advice makes me wonder if they think I'm doing a bad job, and it leads me to question my mothering skills. There is so much to worry about as a mother. I just wish my mom or MIL would tell me they think I'm doing a good job at this. All this "advice" leads me to think they believe I'm not doing a good job.

Not on my Blog

I have a damn ad for formula on my blog.

I hope I got it blocked.

If you see one, please email me at intorainbowz at hotmaildotcom. Right click on the ad link , copy target or link location, and paste that into your email. I have the ad blocked.

Not like anyone clicks on the ads, I've had 2 clicks the entire time they have been there.

It just ticked this lactivist off to come on here and find an ad for formula. GRRRRR

I KNOW there are women who must formula feed, please don't be offended by my next statement, K?

There are so many things in common between the formula companies and the tobacco industry it is scary. These companies actively sabotage nursing the world over. Babies die because they are not nursed. Formula is recalled. Water is bad in Africa. Our government is very bad at catering to the formula industry. I firmly believe those in power are putting profits over babies.

I'll never vote for Mitt Romney. Massachusetts had banned the bags given to mother's leaving the hospitals. He overturned that ban. Those bags are not given out because formula companies are nice, they want customers. They know that if they get a baby onto formula, mom will lose her milk, then they have a client for a year or so. EVEN if there is no formula in the bag, mothers will select that brand of formula if they switch. I'm too lazy to find the link for that. Those bags are an active tool in sabotaging a brand new nursing relationship.


No violating the WHO Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes on MY blog, thank you very much.