Ode to Sciatic Pain

In the spirit of other much more talented poets, here is my attempt at a poem. Emily Dickinson, I am not.

Entitled: Ode to Sciatic Pain.

OHCH.
DAMIT OUCH.
I have never hurt this much before.
I have HOW many weeks to go?
The doctor better not be lying,
or I will be a crying,
that this pain will end with her birth.

Now that I have suffered,
through all this pain,
her teenage years better be a breeze,
because her head is already on my nerves.

The pain, it drains. It stings, it never wanes.
Sometimes I can stand pain free,
but when I sit, OUCHEE.

I want an epidural, right here right now.
Just hook it up for the next 4 months,
so I can pick up the stuff that falls to the floor.

Did I say that this HURTS????
Did I mention I am really tired of the pain?
Did I mention that I want some relief?

I wish I could tie my shoes, shave my legs, paint my toes.
I wish I could sit and type, sleep all night, stop whining of my woes.
I want to walk normal, sit normal, be pain free.
I have learned great sympathy for those who have chronic pain.

I could really, very quickly become a drug addict.
But the doc says no to the lortabs.
See they can cause babies to be small,
she is already small enough.

So I see the chiropractor,
and he waves my leg in the air.
and I pray for relief,
and I pray for strength to bear.

Seriously, what was I thinking?
I keep hoping that this is the worst.
Pain I can tolerate, other worries are worse.
I'll put up with this pain until June,
because this pain means she is in there, alive, and growing everyday.

Politics in Utah

Bad, bad news in the Deseret (desperate) News. Lavar Christensen a real ass and homophobe in Utah, has decided to run against Jim Matheson for federal congress. To read the article click here. Now it really irks the Republicans that Jim is even elected, because he is the SOLE Democrat sent to congress. In 2000, they gerrymandered the districts to try to get rid of him, but somehow he keeps getting elected (which the article explains).

Lavar LOVES to run message bills. Basically he says if you are not strait, you are not welcome. Trista has been talking about him here. Even the article comments about this. Here is that article... My comments about his statements are in italics.

State Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, made it official Wednesday: He's running against Democratic Rep. Jim Matheson in the 2nd Congressional District this year.

Damn.

LaVar Christensen Two other Republicans — Joe Tucker of Alpine and Chris Lonsberry of Ivins — have announced against Matheson, but Christensen may have the best chance of giving the three-term incumbent a contest. Christensen, who has already raised $185,000 for the race, putting in $150,000 of his own money, said he is too busy with his legislative work to make a big show of an announcement. That will come before he formally files his candidacy.

So what this means is that he has actually raised $35,000, and contributed $150,000 of his own money. See why normal people can't get involved and run? I could contribute about $100 to my campaign.

"I just want people to know of my decision," said Christensen as he passed out a press release to some of the reporters covering the 2006 Legislature. "There is a bright dawn ahead for America," Christensen said in the release. "The Republican vision for our country draws inspiration from our past and offers the promise of a bright future for our children. "Our nation is built on a solid foundation of wisdom and principles that have weathered every storm and spread freedom throughout the world. In Congress, I will work to preserve that heritage."

"Preserving the Heritage" read: Discriminating against GLBT, and non-Christians, and anyone who thinks differently than he does. Ever notice how so much is about "the children" however when "the children" need money, it gets cut? Utah is number 50 out of 50 states in the per pupil spending rate.

Said Matheson: "We won't know who my opponent is until after the (Republican) convention and the primary. Who runs against me has no effect on how I do my job. I am looking forward to talking about my record of accomplishment with Utahns this year."

I love Scott. I am so glad that Utah sends at least one Democrat to Congress.

Christensen, an attorney who also deals in land development, was first elected to the House in 2002. He quickly showed his conservative side, introducing several so-called "moral" bills, speaking often on legislation and quoting from the Founding Fathers and other well-known Americans. This year Christensen is sponsoring 12 bills and resolutions, more than most House members.

Do we want to send someone to Congress who is clogging up Utah's legislature with message bills, and passing things destined to get Utah sued? Do we want to send that to Congress, so instead of wasting 45 days in Utah, he can waste a whole year in Washington.

He has long been an admirer of the late President Ronald Reagan, offering resolutions calling for naming different buildings or installations after the late president. His HJR13 in this session urges Congress to rename Hill Air Force Base the Reagan Hill Air Force Base. To challenge Matheson, Christensen will have to give up his District 48 seat. Earlier this year, KSL Radio talk show host Doug Wright announced he wouldn't run against Matheson. GOP executive director Spencer
Jenkins said he knows of no other GOP candidates who may enter the race before
the mid-March candidate filing deadline. If that ends up to be the case, Christensen is the best financed and best known of the GOP pack.

I've already commented on changing Hill Air Force Base's name. To read this, click here. Suffice it to say, I do not agree with this.

Matheson, who always works hard at fund raising, has $650,000 in cash. He's spent more than $1 million in his past contests. "The 2nd District needs effective representation," Christensen said. "Like the majority of voters in the district, I am a Republican by choice and for good reason." Republicans are holding America together, he said.

Well Levar, I am a DEMOCRAT by choice and for good reason. I love how he is insulting the good job that Matheson has been doing in Washington. I'd also like to add that I feel much of the division in our country is caused by the Republicans and their exclusions. I don't believe the Republican party is holding the US together, instead I feel they have done a good job at creating an Us versus them society.

"Our party offers the compass and the map that guide our progress as a nation." But Christensen's challenge is to get a large number of Republicans — especially Salt Lake County Republicans — to vote for him. After the Legislature redrew Matheson's 2nd District boundaries in 2001, the son of the late Gov. Scott M. Matheson has had to appeal to a heavily Republican district that runs from the eastern part of Salt Lake County east and south into Washington and Iron counties — one of the largest geographic districts in the nation. Matheson carried the
Salt Lake County portion of the district by more than 60 percent in his last two
elections — getting a healthy chunk of the Republican vote.

Wow, one party contains all the solutions to the worlds problems. Problem is that the Republicans have been in power for several years now, and I feel our country is worse off. The LAST think we need is to send another rubber stamp for GWB to Congress. Notice how not everyone agrees.... Matheson got a lot of Republican votes to win.

Christensen's release had several GOP House members praising the Draper Republican's work. Christensen said: "My service in the state Legislature has given me a good grasp of our state's needs. Federal issues that concern us — education, transportation, taxes, health care, the courts, public lands — are all matters that I'm working on in the Legislature."

Oh, I could write pages on this guy. I feel he is so far right, he can't read the watch on his left hand. He is afraid to make a left turn for fear he will turn into a liberal. He's currently a medium fish in a small pond. Sending him to Washington would turn him into a itty-bitty fish in the Ocean. Might do his ego some good.

Addressing current Washington, D.C., scandals, Christensen said, "Washington is
in need of reform, but reform cannot happen if everyone just goes along to get
along." Congress must change the way it does business, Christensen said. "The lobbyist abuses cross party lines. Every elected official must safeguard the public trust. I will work tirelessly to maintain that trust. "I believe I can make a real difference for Utah in Congress."

No you will go there and look like an ass and have the rest of the US think that Utah is a bunch of backwater fools. I'm already committed to working to defeat this moron, any one want to join me?

Comments Welcome

I happen to know from my trusty sitemeter, that I have a lot more readers than posters. Please feel free to post or comment. Comments are open to anyone, even people without a blogger account!

Oh, I know I need to do a better job posting, and wanted to thank those that have posted.

Toning down the Olympic love

So, After I wrote my Ode to the Olympics, I went and ordered one of the cool new Roots Beret Opening Ceremony hats. At the time it was NOT on back order. Had it been on back order, I would likely not have ordered it. The web site said it would ship within 24 hours.

I got a shipping invoice today.... While shopping there, I purchased a $1 pin, along with the $25 hat. Was the hat shipped, no. What was shipped was the $1 pin, with a full $7.98 in shipping added. Seems they add all shipping costs when the ship the first item.

Maybe I'm just expecting too much, but I think that since their web site did not indicate a back order status, I should be taken care of. What I mean is I know they have some hats around, they should send me one of those or I should get a discount. Their shipping policies are such that the first item shipped is $6, and each additional item is $1.98. So even if I cancel the order, I will still have paid $6 to ship a $1 pin. I have talked to three so called customer service people, and no one offered anything to make it right. They all just said I can cancel, and I'll get the $1.98 in shipping back. Honestly, I can see paying $6 to ship a hat, and $2 to ship a pin, but I think the other way around is robbery.

When the pin gets here, I'll see how much they paid to ship it, and I'll call back and complain some more.

My therapist would ask "What do you want from this?" My answer... On Friday, I purchased a non back ordered hat. I want my hat in a timely manner. I do not want to wait until March. Waiting until March seems quite stupid. I wanted to be able to walk around the office during the Olympics wearing a cool hat, and be neat because I'm the only one who has one. Juvenile, I know, but I will admit it. I still might cancel, because I'm currently being told it will not ship for a couple of weeks.

I also want to point out that this company has no idea of supply and demand. This problem also existed in 2002, when they had these cool hats and not nearly enough. I waited in line for 8 hours for one, remember. I asked why they cannot anticipate the demand, and got no answer. Duh, cool hat, being seen all over NBC, lots of people want one. Grrrr.

Oh, I purposely put those key words up there, to get Google hits when people go looking for the hat.

I love the Olympics

I have been privileged to live in an Olympic City twice in my life. We lived in Los Angles during the 1980 summer games, and in Salt Lake City in 2002. Yes, I know the Olympics are a den of iniquity and commercialism, but I'm not focusing on that today.

My first Olympic memory is on a very hot summer day. We sat on the corner by a Conroy's flower shop waiting for the torch to come by. There were a lot of people around, and it was very hot. Finally the torch came by and we all cheered.

Later on, after the Opening Ceremonies in Los Angles, my dad took us all downtown to see the sights. Traffic was awful. I remember buses being escorted by heavy police escort from the Opening Ceremonies to their dorms. My dad said they were countries who were dangerous to us in the US. (I bet they were in more danger than we were.) While in this traffic jam on the LA city streets, we talked with a man from Nigeria hanging from his window in his dorm, while we hung out of the windows of the car. I remember the traffic was so bad, that my mom and I got out of the car, went to a McDonald's, bought drinks, and came back to the car, which had moved about half a block. Funny, it is one of VERY few times, I don't remember my father getting really upset about the traffic. I remember this as a very fun time. We later on went to the Soul Korea house, and got fans that said "See you in Soul, 1988."

In the preparation for 2002 games, it was again a summer day, when while working at a nursing home as a nurses aide, we gathered in a resident's room to watch the TV and see the announcement. When Juan Antonio Samaranch announced the games go to "the City of Salt Lake City" we started yelling and dancing. A supervisor came to see what was going on, and she joined in.

When it came closer to the Olympics, I signed up to be a volunteer. I was assigned to be a volunteer at the Olympic Village. I had just started a new job, and was told I could not have the time off, so I let the position pass. I was very angry when 2 days into Olympics that job ended. I did have a lot more free time to enjoy the games. Vince and I stood for 8 hours to purchase a Roots beret. He had worked a grave yard the night before and was exhausted. I went to the Olympic area several times to look around and see the sights. I was able to see a concert by Martina McBride, but they canceled the medals ceremony that was supposed to go along with the concert. My brother took us to a bunch of the hospitality houses. We ate weird food and got cool souvenirs.

The highlight of the Olympics here in Salt Lake for me was getting to go to the dress rehearsal for the Opening Ceremonies. It was magnificent, and I have never been so proud to be a Utahan. I have a picture of me all bundled up, because it was about 5 degrees that night. My contact lens fell out during "She'll be coming around the mountain" because it was so cold. I had to pick it up off the floor of the stadium, put it in my mouth, and then shove it into my eye, because there was no way I could see the show, or drive home, with only one contact. There were military with big guns all over the place, I felt like I had left the US and went to LALA land. I said to one of the soldiers, sarcastically "Welcome to Utah" and he replied thanks with a thick southern accent. I felt bad about that, so I stopped mocking the guards. I bought an over priced butt pillow, and really overpriced hot dogs and hot chocolate. Honestly, the Opening Ceremonies were wonderful.

I also got to see the Torch a couple of times. The torch ran by my backyard, so I went and stood in the snow and cheered. I saw it when it was by my work, and we stood is slush and waited. I got to hold a torch, as I just happened to be leaving the grocery store when a bus dropped off a bunch of torch carriers. I got to hold one. They were quite light, from what I had thought they would weight.

Vince got to work up at SnowBasin, and got to see much of the action there. He got a green coat. He and I were able to go to the Opening Ceremonies for the Paralympics. Where we were sitting, we could high five the athletes as they got to their seats. Watching the torch be lit was amazing. It was pouring, and Stevie Wonder sang a song about "Its raining and I'm happy, It's pouring and this is fun." They gave us all plastic ponchos, so the rain was better than the super cold.

The Olympics were an amazing time, and I hope to be able to participate in them again. I'm wearing my Opening Ceremonies pin, (0347/2002) and my Roots Beret today in honor of the Olympics. Sad, I stood in Line for 8 hours to get this Beret, sold one on eBay for $75 and they are currently going for $1.99 here. I am going to order this hat so I have one. I also bought a hat from the summer games in Athens, so I am starting a collection.

Miracles do happen

37 pound woman delivers healthy baby boy

Why my mother does not know the URL here.

I’ll get to the title topic in just a bit… First an update.

I just got back from my OB. I really like her. She said that there are no guarantees, but she is comfortable seeing us through this, and going where this goes. There are no guarantees that the baby will grow, but she measured 18 weeks 3 days today, so she has grown. Heartbeat still good, movement still good, legs still crossed so no confirmation on the gender. There is a low normal amount of amniotic fluid. She said I do need the close monitoring. I see her one-week, and then the perinatologist the next. They don’t assign patients to a perinatologist, they rotate them. There are four perinatologists who come to Ogden from the University of Utah on a rotating basis. Dr. Calm (her name I gave her) said they don’t allow a patient to be assigned to just one doctor. She said that if Dr. DH is on and there is an emergency, then I should see him, but otherwise she supports my decision not to see him. Anyway, she thinks that things are looking ok. She mentioned that with the close monitoring, if we notice that the baby has stopped growing, the amniotic fluid gets way to high or to low, or my blood pressure skyrocket, or the baby’s heart rate drops, once we hit viability (about 24 weeks, based on her weight) we will talk about delivering. If the baby starts showing distress, I’ll likely be hospitalized for close monitoing to try to steal every day of gestation we can. She said I still may end up with a healthy 40 week pregnancy, we just will watch, wait and pray. I am to continue my normal routine, ensuring plenty of rest, activity, healthy food, and water. I am also to stop googling everything. I am to call her before I google, because the googling has been stressing me out. She said I should google cats and read about them, because I’m reading tons of stuff that is just upsetting me.

So here begins my discussion on my mother. I knew when I started this blog, she would come up sooner or later. Maybe that is why no family members know the URL. They know I have one, but they don’t know how to find it. At least if they have, no one has mentioned it, and no one has started a war because of what I have wrote.

I talked to my mom for quite a while this morning. After my appointment, I called her back up to let her know what the doctor said. The talk I had with my mother this morning was reassuring, because she reminded me that she was told to abort England, my sister’s blog name, and England is doing fine. England has no birth defects. All my mom's pregnancies went over due, so she thinks that genetically that our babies just grow slow. She told me I should try to not get so much testing. I asked Dr. Calm about that, and she advised that we continue with the intense monitoring to be able to catch a problem with the baby and deliver if needed.

Now, I don’t really think that my mom likes Dr. Calm all that much. After my fun at the ER at 6 weeks, I saw Dr. Calm the next day. Vince had a test at school, so he could not come. I was on “bed rest” after the ER, so I could not drive. So my mom came and took me. I had selected Dr. Calm because she was recommended to me by my GP. Dr. Calm delivered my GP’s children. I think that is a ringing endorsement, that a female doc trusted Dr. Calm to handle her pregnancies. I don’t have to have female doctors, but I prefer them, and would really rather see a female, all things being equal.

So, my mom has met Dr. Calm. From the BEGINNING, she had a problem with Dr. Calm. She knew one of the other Ob/Gyn’s in Dr. Calm’s clinic, and wanted me to switch to him. I told her that I would see about that after the initial appointment. Well, after the initial appointment, I loved Dr. Calm. She is laid back, and is a doctor I feel I can communicate with, ask stupid questions of her after I have been googling too much, and I feel she is very knowledgeable and compassionate. Any way, my mom did not like her, and still wanted me to switch. I said no, and the subject dropped, or so I thought.

So after I tell her about the appointment news today, and the possibility of delivering early, she flipped out. She wanted to know why I would choose to have a premie. I said that this is a last resort if the baby is in distress and looks like it might die. She said that the baby should just stay in my womb. I tried to explain if it is a placental or cord problem, then staying in the womb will mean death, while having a premie means at least a chance at life. She wanted me to go find a 70 year old Ob/Gyn who does not use all this technology. She thinks that if I go to an old man, then the monitoring will stop and the problems will go away. She thinks all the problems are just because we know about this because I had the APFT test, which she thinks I should never have again. Basically, she wants me to stop seeing a doctor I trust, go find some ancient doctor not current on modern medicine, and start seeing him.

My mom also implied that I was being stupid or selfish by “choosing” to have a premie, rather than let a baby in distress remain in my womb. Basically, if the womb becomes a hostile environment, I’d rather give the baby a chance at life in the NICU, rather than let it die inside of me. Is a 24-week baby optimal, NO, but I would rather let my baby have a chance outside the womb, rather than certain death. I mean if the placenta stops working, nothing will get it started again. Outside, there is a chance that medical procedures will be able to help the baby continue to grow and develop. I want to avoid the NICU at all costs, but if that is what has to be, that is what has to be. I mean, I’m not saying have the baby at 24 weeks because of my sciatic pain. I am not taking pain medication because of the baby’s growth problems. Dr. Calm feels that these may slow things down even more, so nope to the Lortabs, even though my pain is enough to justify them.

Our call ended with her basically saying, whatever, and she had to go. It was very frustrating. I mean, I just got told there is a likelihood of a super premie being born, and my mom questions the information I have been given, and wants me to switch from a provider I trust to a provider who I don’t know. I just wanted some support. I know all 5 of her pregnancies went just fine, but mine is appearing to have concerns. I’m now high risk. Dr. Calm is not overreacting; she is monitoring closely and letting us know the options. Maybe everything would be just fine if we did not know there was a problem, but I would rather know so that we can make informed decisions. Oh, I’m not switching doctors.

Counting my blessings

Sorry for the blog strike. I have been swamped again, and honestly have had some writers block.

Update on the baby.... Looks like she is a girl! I am very excited about this. The last ultrasound on Friday, Feb 3, was not very positive other than that. Thankfully all the major organs are in place and appear to be functioning. Brain, heart, kidneys, and spine all look fine. the catch is that she does not appear to be that interested in growing. She should have measured closer to 20 weeks, 1 day, and measured 17 weeks 6 days. However the placenta, cord and cord attachment site all appear to be fine, so now we watch and wait. I really suck at watching and waiting. I googled a bunch of stuff about this yesterday and ended up sobbing to the WeeCare nurse on the phone. (WeeCare is a program offered by my health insurance company.) I go see my doctor tomorrow, and I'll bawl all over her too, I'm sure. What I read on google was very overwhelming and exhausting.

I really hated the perinatologist I saw last week. It was not the same man I saw two weeks before. He failed to introduce himself, (I still don't know his name) and was arrogant and condescending. He also wanted to know what my feelings were on termination. Ummm HELL NO. He then went on to discuss the laws of Utah and that I only have a week before I would have to travel to another state. I'm sure he was trying to do full disclosure, but he said it like an ass and I've decided to call him Doctor Dick Head as he failed to introduce himself. If I knew his name, I'd track down his email so we could all send him hate email. I am going to refuse to see him again. I saw a Dr. Clark the first time, and I liked him fine, so I'll see him. Thankfully I still have my regular OB, Julia, who is wonderful. She actually answers her own phone after hours.

So I have decided to try to be positive and hopeful, which is not my nature. By nature I am a brooder and worrier. Today I happened to think about one of my favorite hymns, Count your Blessings.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain
Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be disheartened, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Refrain

So here is a short list of my blessings.

1. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me
2. I know that Jesus died for me.
3. I know that there is life before and there is life after this life.
4. I have been blessed to have the love of a wonderful husband.
5. Vince tolerates me when I flip out over something, when I am really upset by something completely else. Example, I yelled at him about the litter box, when I am really upset about the baby.
6. I cleaned my messy bathroom yesterday and the spotlessness is wonderful.
7. I am employed at a job which mostly meets our needs and provides excellent benefits.
8. The ultrasounds at the hospital are covered 100% by insurance.
9. The baby is alive. Her heart is beating at a great rate.
10. I am now pretty sure I have felt her kick.
11. Her major organs are healthy and in place.
12. I believe in prayer and that miracles can happen today.
13. My mom's knee surgery went well.
14. My family is mostly healthy.
15. I have access to medical care.
16. I am educated. I can read, write, and do math.
17. I live in a country where I don't have to wear a veil. I live in a mostly free country.
18. I'm not a Republican.
19. 3 more years and we get a new president.
20. I have access to housing and transportation. No one in my family is going hungry or is homeless.
21. I have clean water to drink.
22. I've discovered a network of people to talk to and worry too. It is nice to not be alone.
23. I don't have to worry about my husband not having rights to our baby, as current laws protect both our rights to our child, something many do not have, especially in this state.

So there is a short list. I feel I needed to see this list and share it, and remind myself I am blessed.