Happy 7th Anniversary.

Great news... Sydney weighs 3 pounds 3 ounces. She has gained half a pound over her birth weight. She is starting to look a bit more rounder and filled out in her face.

So Friday was a BAD night. (I actually typed Saturday, but realized the days are running together.) Before we even got to Sydney, Vince got a lecture because he had taken off his wrist band and put it in his wallet. I remember being told this was ok to do, but a policy changed since this, and we got a lecture. The nurse whom we usually like, over reacted (In our NSHO) and put Sydney back in her isolette way before the time was up. Sydney threw one quick brady, and back into the isolette. The nurse just came over and said she needs to go back. Well, this made Vince mad, and upset me. I think it was the way it happened, as I will explain later. I started crying, and basically left the NICU. I barely said bye to Sydney, and left. I felt so incompetent. I felt that the nurse was saying I was harming Sydney because she is over stimulated. I felt I was to blame. There is SO little privacy in the NICU, I seriously felt I would have more privacy in the hall, so I went out. Vince stayed to see that she was settled down. Before I left, a nurse we do like came over and tried to talk and joke with us. We were seriously in no mood to joke, so we came off rather rude. After Vince came out of the NICU, and we went to leave, the ONE thing I did not need to see was going on. The hospital was discharging a mother and baby at 11 at night (WHY are they discharging so late at night?) Well, the tears started all over again.

After I had cried in the parking lot for about 20 minutes, I called the nurse we kind of abrupt with and told her we were not mad at her, that we had a hard night. I did not mean to tell her what happened as our nurse that night was the charge nurse, but the story came out in tears. As this nurse does, she listened and explained. She educated and answered questions I was asking but did not know how to say. I vented some frustrations, not at her but at this situation. Talking to her was a God send. I am so glad I called her. I did not like to hear all she had to say, but she was right.

Part of the problem that we discussed is that I had started to feel competent as Sydney's mother in the little tasks I do, and this shattered this. With the nurse taking over, our ability to parent her was questioned. We had started to feel empowered as her parents, and this just threw that into question. The teaching nurse gave me some ways to counter this, but admitted that for now, our parenting toes will get stepped on.

HOWEVER, fast forward to Saturday morning. Another nurse who was not one of my favorites was on. We had just never clicked. We got Sydney out of the incubator, and she drew the curtain part way around us, to try to give us some privacy. (It was c-section Saturday, and there were 2 new babies and their families around.) Sydney again started to show signs of over stimulation. Flower (she wears floral scrub tops) helped us try to calm her, and told us she was doing ok. Vince wanted to put her back at the first sign of trouble, but Flower told us she was doing ok. After a bit, Sydney again began showing signs of over-stimulation, and Vince and I both noticed this. Flower came over and said she was seeing these signs, and asked us what we wanted to do. We put her back into her isolette. No tears, no hurt feelings, nothing like that. Basically, Flower INVOLVED us in the decisions about her care, and we agreed. Neither Vince nor I have ever fought putting her back to rest if she is stressed, and it was nice to see that our opinion mattered and was valued. May I say, Flower's stock went up so much she got a nickname on my blog. She allowed us to participate in the decision, and allowed us to care for our daughter by recognizing her stress signs, and doing what was best for her. Flower also did not over react. Instead, she stayed close by in case there was a problem, but also gave us some space to parent Sydney.

When we went back, the swing nurse was on. She is a very nice nurse. Curly, had put a bow in Sydney's hair. It looks so cute. She also apologized for having already given Sydney her bath. Sydney vomited up her vitamin, and it got everywhere. Curly said it was in her hair, and she figured I would rather have her clean that waiting for me in dried vomit. Curly guessed right. I thanked her for taking good care of my daughter. No problems with over stimulation last night or this morning.

I will tell you that this latest experience has drained me. I have been asking the nurses for reassurance that Sydney is doing ok while we are holding her. Vince is also really jumpy. Sydney cried last night, and her heart rate when really up. Sydney is not a real crier, so for her to cry is unnerving for us. Curly assured us it was because she was hungry, and once I started to give her a bottle, she calmed right down and ate.

They upped her cc's per meal to 26. She has been having great runs of eating, followed by eating 2 ccs. Her new high of ccs eaten at one time is 21! So close.

Oh, this is our anniversary. We went and picked out watches for each other. I wanted a watch with a metal band that I did not have to remove every time I scrubbed in at the NICU. Vince needs a new watch because the indiglo went out. I got an Eeyore watch, as I've always liked Eeyore. We have been married for 7 years today. I am actually glad we have those 7 years under our belt, because I know that those years of building a foundation of strength and living through challenges is helping us today.